©2005 May not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the author. This includes publishing at other websites.
Multimillion dollar hand built pre-production prototype S500 brought to On Track for a bunch of sales people to fawn, drool, paw, and otherwise lust over. Big! Impressive! Says "I have arrived!"
Slightly Maybach-like rear end. Those silver bands in the taillights are body colored. So a black one will have black bands, etc. It makes the taillights look as though they're growing out of the quarter panels. The antenna on the trunk is for the Sirius Satellite Radio but isn't representative of the production version.
On Track 2005
On Track is Mercedes-Benz USA's more or less annual training program conducted at race tracks around the country. The first one was in 1987. That year I went to the one at Mid-Ohio. I've been to all but one. The dealer got cheaper than normal that year. The next time he didn't send me, I paid my own way. This caused quite a stir when the MB folks found out. I haven't had to again. Back then the program was 2 days, one in a classroom, the next on the track, evaluating our cars and the competition.
It's been toned down quite a bit since then. Now it's one day of mixed classroom and track sessions, some more valuable than others. This year, we had:
2007 S-Class Sneak Preview
Two multimillion dollar hand-built pre-production prototypes were there for us to crawl over, sit in, ogle at, and play with the switches and knobs. The car has returned a bit to its roots. It's massive, considerably bigger than the 2000-2006, and it looks even bigger. The styling is on-off. You'll either love it or hate it. I worry when everybody is tepid about a car. That one won't sell. But love and hate are very close together as emotions. Just ask any ex-wife.
Pedestrian Friendly Nose:
The Euro gumments have instituted rather stringent pedestrian protection laws, which have been copied by the Japanese. You know about them because Honda has been bragging in their ads how they're better than every other manufacturer because they design their cars to be pedestrian friendly. They're not, of course. Honda has a record of meeting the letter of the law but not exceeding it in regards to safety. That's what they've done in this case. The result of the laws will be more massive front ends, with air dams designed to keep people from going under the cars, and bumpers incorporating an idea Mercedes has been using since before I came to work with them, making the bumper below the knee, which aids in putting the hapless pedestrian over the hood, not under the car. Then the hood has to be designed to be a certain distance from the engine, which results in taller hoods and/or lower engines. In the S-Class, it resulted in both. Additionally, the hood has to be "soft." The S-Class hood is aluminum. It has a "character line" crease in the middle which both adds character to the big hood and adds rigidity.
Exterior:
The doors are an alloy of ultra-high-strength/low alloy steel and aluminum. All 4 doors "in the white" weigh only 85 lb. Yet the safety cage area is incredibly strong, being built mostly of ultra-high-strength/low alloy steel, with all of the neat engineering features that have long made a Mercedes-Benz cockpit the safest place on the road.
The styling says, "I have arrived." It should. An S-Class is the ultimate Mercedes-Benz and the ultimate car in its class, the big, expensive, luxury car class. It's striking from every direction. The Maybach-like rear end with taillights that seem to grow out of the quarter panels, with body-colored strips between the glass segments. It's not as prominent in the silver prototypes as it will be in, say, black cars.
Interior:
Big. Luxurious. Unique. Comfortable. Safe. It's all the things an S-Class interior is supposed to be. First, the important thing: The cup holders are well-placed, big, effective, and strong. My camera batteries died before I could photograph them, but they're in the front of the console and covered when not in use.
There is a big knob in the middle of the console that controls nearly everything. It's been scaring us since we tried the BMW 745Li and saw grown men with genius IQs unable to change radio stations.
Relax. It's a Mercedes-Benz. It's easy to use, and nearly every control has a "hard" switch if you don't want to use it. If you want to set the AC using the usual switches, they're there. You won't have to hire a 14 year old to work the switches for you for the first 6 months like you did with your BMW.
There is a 20 gig hard drive in the navigation system that can be updated easily. More to come on that later.
The interior styling is as edgy as the exterior, edgy in a good way. The AC vents look like a MB grille with a Cartier clock in the middle. "Aha, you're copying Infiniti!"
Well, actually, we've had clocks in cars with hands since the 20s. Infiniti copied thirties Mercedes. When we put in a feature from a thirties Mercedes, we're paying homage to our heritage. When Infiniti does it, they're just lacking in originality.
Trunk:
"You could put three bodies in that trunk!" (Robert DeNiro, Analyze That)
Maybe 4. It's big. The car has 2 batteries, much like an SL. E, ML, and R all have 2 batteries, as well. In the S, the first battery starts the car. The BIG, DEEP CYCLE, MARINE STYLE battery in the trunk runs the accessories. If it's dead the car still starts. Great system.
It is a "limited use" full diameter spare. With the various wheels and tires offered, and the staggered wheels on many models, this is what works. We've endeavored to build the ugliest spare wheel possible so you'll get your damaged tire fixed or replaced as soon as possible.
Needless to say, there will be more details on these fantastic new cars. If you don't have your order in already, you won't be getting one of the early ones. If you want one in calendar year 2006 you might get your deposit in. We have a lot of orders when there has been virtually no publicity on it. When people see it in the flesh and steel, they'll put it into a deep back order status pretty quickly.
Driving the big tri-oval
I was dreading this. The instructor I had last year convinced me I didn't have any concept how to drive a car and should be chauffeured the rest of my life. Only the absence of a chauffeur that would work for free kept me driving. This year the instructor was much more instructor and absolutely no drill sergeant. It went much better. We drove:
ML500 Very impressive at high speeds. Very stable. Great ride. The oval doesn't test braking. But at its governed top speed, the ML500 is more stable than a RX330 standing still.
R500 You wouldn't think of this big thing as appropriate for hot lapping. But it was super. With its long wheelbase, the stability was superb.
CLK500 Now we're getting into the sport models. Fast, smooth, agile, stable, no vices.
CLS55 AMG A toss up whether this was the best car on the track or the SLK55 AMG. I'll give it a nod because of the Drive Dynamic seats with active ventilation. The cold air on my sweaty back was refreshing, and the high-side bolster pumping up in the corners was comforting. Oh, yes, it's VERY fast.
SLK55 AMG As mentioned, a toss up. So much power to weight you have to roll the throttle in gently as you leave the corner.
Speeds were governed by sanity and the car in front. The cars were lined fastest to slowest, but the drivers weren't always. With no one in front, we reached the highest top speed in the SLK55 AMG. The CLS55 was slowed by the car in front. I want an SLK55 AMG. The entire package works so well it's uncanny.
C230/BMW 325i SPORT Autocross
This was a waste of an hour. We drove both cars in the autocross. Most people got the fastest time with the car they drove second. BMW makes good autocross cars. They always have. The problem is the better a car is an autocross car, usually the worst the car is a road car. If you doubt that, look at some good autocross cars, like the Corvette. Tuned for autocrossing you need to trailer it to the track. If you drive on the street with autocross settings, you'll trash the front tires in no time, assuming you don't oversteer into a semi. But what do I know about autocrossing?
I did like the C230 better and got it to go faster. Both cars, thankfully, were not tuned for autocrossing. If we learned anything, it was that the C230 Sport is as good as or better than the BMW 325i Sport in the autocross. Out of the thousands of people who read this every month, the two of you that autocross can feel free to tell me how I'm wrong.
This hour could have been better spent learning about our cars or the competition in a more meaningful way.
Competitive Drive, ML350, R350, BMW X5 3.0i, Cadillac SRX (?), Land Rover LR3
This is usually the most informative section. A course was set up on the infield track testing acceleration, braking, lane changing, slaloming, and rough road ride.
ML350 Smooth, quiet, exceptionally agile, smooth over the 2 x 4s (staggered so they affected one wheel at a time). The slalom capabilities were car-like.
R350 Everything about the ML350 applies, but when you consider we were slaloming a 208" vehicle with 128" wheelbase, it was stunning.
X5 3.0i noisy, underpowered engine. Good handling, braking, slaloming, terrible over the 2 x 4s. Until I got to that I was impressed. The best of the non-Mercedes by far.
Cadillac SRX powerful engine, quiet, smooth, decent in the slalom, not impressive in braking, terrible over the 2 x 4s.
Land Rover LR3 "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
I shall laugh hysterically whenever I see anyone driving one. They might be the CEO of a major corporation, but I doubt their intellect .
Product Knowledge Contest
Back when this was an individual thing I could win. Last year my team won, but it was based on product knowledge. This year they had a computerized setup with clickers for every team. When the moderator finished the question, the first person clicking got to answer. If you clicked one millisecond before the person working the computer decided the moderator had finished the question, you were locked out. One millisecond after was too late. Either that or my clicker was turned off most of the time. Very frustrating.
I don't know what these sessions are supposed to teach. They seem to be a waste of time, even when I do win. I would much prefer a product knowledge TRAINING session.
Hotlapping:
Cancelled due to a hail storm. The only vehicles I wanted to hotlap in would have been the SL65 AMG or CL65 AMG. The instructors were talking of 170 mph speeds the day before and much higher speeds at Daytona. Obviously they're not governed to 155 like the rest of the AMGs. I've heard rumors of 186 governing, but they were talking of higher speeds at other tracks. For the two or three of you who complain about the top speed governor on your car every year, one of these has your name on it.
The Drive Home:
Stultifyingly boring. Red Bull earned its cost.
Range
Now that gasoline has gotten high enough for most people to notice, we see a renewed interest in the E320 CDI. This rather large, safe, comfortable luxury sedan gets 37 mph highway, 27 city. Thus if you start with a topped off tank and don't get stuck in a 22 hour gridlock trying to evacuate from the storm from hell, and you drive sensibly on the highway, you can expect to coast to a stop after 777 miles. Cautious city driving should result in fumes after 567 miles. Deduct a reasonable safety margin, and 727 and 517 result. With the excellent trip computers standard equipment, range can be visible for those liking to push the edge of the envelope.
"But Curt, isn't diesel fuel hard to find out in the boonies?"
Not if there's a truck stop. I've also noticed that newly built major brand stations seem to have diesel. Maybe they know something. If you think it's rare, while driving, note how many stations have 4 prices listed on their signs. Try not to read the prices, though. Crying and driving is a dangerous combination.
What about other new diesels?
What about a diesel ML, a diesel station wagon, a diesel tri-turbo C-Class AMG?
The current diesel is a 45 state car. It can't be sold in the People's Democratic Republic of Kalifornia, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, and Vermont. They all use California Air Resources Board regulations designed to stop diesel sales altogether, raise gasoline prices, outlaw Blue Bell Ice Cream in favor of Ben & Jerry's, and force everyone to commute 25 miles one way on their bicycles. (slight exaggeration)
Come January 1, 2007, these regulations become national. I'm not sure how California's lunatic ravings became future national regulations.
Despite the best efforts of the CARB, Mercedes-Benz and Bosch can pass those impossible regulations-if "low Sulfur" diesel is the only fuel out there. Previous "low sulfur" diesel had 500 parts per million of sulfur. The new standard is 5 ppm. Mercedes' new V-6 diesel requires the new stuff to pass.
You'll remember that earlier this year diesel shot above the cost of premium gasoline for a while. This was during the transition to 5 ppm. A good number of the antique refineries in the US couldn't make 5 ppm fuel, so fuel from those refineries had to be shipped elsewhere and reprocessed. As more refineries became capable, the price went back down.
Then 2 hurricanes hit the Gulf Coast, and 2 EPA regulations were relaxed, one, that "Boutique" gasolines no longer have to be produced for 12 different regions, and 5 ppm sulfur diesel fuel has been delayed. Do not expect the new diesel Mercedes until it is a mandatory fuel.
Cost/Benefit Analysis:
The E320CDI costs $1000 more than a comparably equipped E350 sedan. It gets 27 city vs. 19 city. Assume diesel is 23¢/gal less than 93 octane premium. It will take 18,133 miles to overcome the $1,000 initial disadvantage. In 50,000 miles the E320CDI will cost $1,757 less than the E350. The longer you keep it, the greater the savings in fuel will be. If diesel stays higher than premium, it will take longer. Additionally there are no spark plugs to change. Spark plugs, if you use premium fuel, shouldn't need changing before 100,000 ,miles, so this is not the expense it used to be at 15 or 30,000 miles, so we've raised the price per plug go $100 to make up for it (just kidding).
Octane
Now that premium fuel is over $3/gallon, I'm getting a lot of questions about it vs. the cheaper stuff:
Q: Do Mercedes really need 91 octane or better?
A: No. We're in league with the automobile companies. We get a kickback on every Mercedes using premium. Just kidding. Mercedes engines have a knock sensor. If you fill up with 87 or 89 octane, the knock sensor will protect the engine by retarding the spark timing. But fuel economy will suffer vs. real 91+ octane fuel.
Q: Why do you say "real 91+ octane fuel"?
A: Some stations have been known to sell the same fuel in all 3 tanks. If the station is honest, but the fuel has been sitting there for a while, it can deteriorate octane wise, I am told. Thus old 93 octane fuel might be 90 or 88.
Q: How do we guard against that?
A: Buy an oil company and have the good stuff delivered fresh to your house. Failing that, buy fuel from busy stations. If they're refilling the tanks weekly, it will be fresh fuel.
Q: What else happens if I use lower octane?
A: Gasoline companies tend to put more detergent in the premium blend. If your fuel doesn't have enough detergent, it will allow deposits. Deposits will cause premature spark plug failure, and, more importantly, premature catalytic converter failure, probably wiping out your savings. On the other hand, if your car is hard to start, try lower octane. That problem will probably go away. Some high-octane fuel is harder to light up. You might get lower fuel economy. You will save 10-30¢ a gallon at the pump.
Q: Why does Mercedes require premium when Cadillac doesn't?
A: When Mercedes-Benz engines go through EPA testing, it is with 91 octane high detergent fuel. Therefore it is not legal for us to recommend anything less. I'm not responsible for Cadillac's decisions. After all, have you seen their styling lately?
Q: I'm trying to save money. Isn't this 91 octane requirement awfully expensive?
A: Assume 20,000 miles/year, 20 mpg, thus 1,000 gallons a year. If 87 octane is $2.89.9, and 93 octane is $3.19.9 per gallon, that means the difference is $300 per year. How much did your Mercedes cost?
Mercedes-Benz European Delivery Center -- this is where you actually take delivery of your new toy. Up to 500 cars a day are delivered there.
Ian Sharkey's 2006 C230 Sport Sedan at the European Delivery Center
Yes, that's the Sindlefingen factory behind the car
The Beau Rivage Palace Hotel
Juan Pablo Montoya, driving a McLaren-Mercedes, winning the 2005 Italian Grand Prix in Monza, to the absolute agony of the Tifosi attending to see Michael Schumaker win in a Ferrari
European Delivery Letter
We wanted to let you know that we had a great experience on our European Delivery trip. We left Houston on Sunday the 28th of August and arrived in Stuttgart via Amsterdam on Monday afternoon. We used our taxi certificate for the journey from the airport to the Graf Zeppelin hotel in downtown Stuttgart which we had booked for two nights. The next morning we departed the hotel early for Sindelfingen, and even though we arrived at the delivery center fifteen minutes before their scheduled opening time, they were very accommodating and got us checked in immediately. They booked us on the 8.30 am factory tour, since we were early we went up to the customer lounge overlooking the vehicle collection hall. Even though they had just opened they were handing over the first few cars, the person who checked us in said they were doing 200 deliveries at the center that day.
The ninety minute factory tour was very impressive and covered everything from initial steel pressing to the production line assembly and onto the final inspection before the cars are rolled out the door. We returned back to the check-in area at our appointed time of 10.35 am, where a different lady went over all the paperwork for the car with us, pointing out the importance of not losing the Manufactures Certificate of Origin. After a short time in the check-out waiting area we were called and brought out into the vehicle collection hall. The two delivery employees, one German and the other who went over the whole car in English, were very helpful in answering questions and programming the computer to our personal preferences. They replaced the outside air temperature readout with the Kilometers reading as the speedometer was only graduated in MPH. We drove out and parked the car so we could go back in and have lunch at the restaurant, where we managed to go over the 65 Euro certificate allowance. After spending some time in the Mercedes-Benz gift shop, we headed off for the E.H. Harms office where we were greeted by a nice lady who was full of stories and advice about the journey ahead of us.
We departed Stuttgart the next morning and traveled south on the Autobahn towards Switzerland on what would be a 450 km journey. We stopped off in Zurich before heading to our final destination of Lausanne. We checked into the Beau-Rivage Palace Hotel where we stayed for two days, with one of the nights included in the European Delivery Package. On the Friday we headed south through the Alps and into Italy via the Great St. Bernard tunnel. We continued through the town of Aosta and headed for Milan where we hit a two hour traffic jam on the way to our hotel in the small village of Trezzo sull'Adda which is situated about 20 km east of downtown Milan.
That weekend we attended the Formula 1 Grand Prix at the Autodromo Nazionale Monza where we had some excellent seats opposite the pits on the start/finish straight. The qualifying on Saturday put the McLaren-Mercedes driver Juan Pablo Montoya on pole position for the Sunday race which he ended up winning putting the McLaren-Mercedes team ahead in the constructors' championship. The eventual 2005 world drivers champion Fernando Alonso who drives for the Renault team, came second. Unfortunately Michael Schumacher of Ferrari finished a disappointing 7th which didn't go down very well with the home town Tifosi fans.
On the Monday we continued south stopping in Genoa for lunch before heading west along the coast to Monaco where we spent the rest of the week. On the Friday morning the 9th of September we drove to Nice Côte d'Azur Airport where the drop off shipping agent for E.H. Harms who in France is TT Car Transit was located. When we pulled up to their office we had driven exactly 1484 Kilometers and spent 26 hours and 15 minutes on the road since we drove it out of the Sindelfingen delivery center ten days before. The lady who processed the paperwork for us said she estimated it would take around seven weeks to get here.
Thank you for all your help, as you can see we had a fantastic time and look forward to the next trip. Just before we drove out of the vehicle collection hall the lady who did the delivery on the car said "We'll see you back here in a few years when you pick up your next car"
Ian Sharkey
Miscellaneous Ravings
Cat letter
My cat had a refrigerator fixation for months. He'd come into the kitchen and just sit there, staring at the bottom of the refrigerator for hours. I looked under there, and it was clean and dry, not even a dead mouse. I washed the drainage tray, and he still did it. Weeks passed.
Then, finally, I noticed the ants.
Frank Barrett
Katrina
Did you notice all the people from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in New Orleans picking up stray animals and saving their lives?
Did you see all of the volunteers from Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Push Coalition setting up mobile kitchens and feeding the survivors?
Did you see Teddy Kennedy fly supplies in on his private jet?
Neither did I.
Things I've Learned
I've been reading about Hurricane Katrina in the press and I've learned some things I didn't know before:
George W. Bush personally caused the hurricane by not signing the Kyoto Accords (The fact that Bill Clinton didn't sign the Kyoto Accords because the senate failed to ratify it 95-0 has nothing to do with that. It was still George W. Bush's fault). There never were any hurricanes on the Gulf Coast before he refused to sign the treaty (when Clinton was President). The hurricane didn't destroy the levees. Halliburton sent in explosives experts and blew them up so they could get more work in the rebuilding. The mayor's refusal to use city buses to evacuate the poor was a brilliant ploy to keep them from getting carsick. The governor of Louisiana is not the most inept, incompetent, indecisive politician who ever lived and didn't refuse federal help just to make a political point. New Orleans is not the most corrupt city in the most corrupt state in the union, and their mayor is a decisive leader who makes Rudi Guiliani look bad. People saying the hurricane was an "act of God are crazy, right-wing religious zealots. God has no effect on the weather, only Republican administrations.
Rita
Do you think our evacuation plan needs a little tweaking? Other than that wasn't it refreshing to see a mayor and a governor who knew what they were doing and were on the same planet as the rest of us? How about law enforcement officers who arrested looters instead of becoming looters?
If Katrina hadn't been so mishandled by Louisiana officials to the point of killing their citizens, Rita would be the Big Weather Event of 2005.
A Little Quiz:
The numbers in the name of a Mercedes-Benz refer to the engine size. Normally the numbers are the engine size in liters with the decimal point moved 2 places to the right. AMG models omit the last zero. Now:
How big is the engine in the following vehicles?
1. 2005 ML350
2. 2005 C230
3. 2006 S600
4. 2006 S65
5, 2006 S350
6, 2006 ML350
7. 2006 C230
8. 2005 C240
9. 2000 C280
10. 2006 SLK280
Answers:
1. 3.7 liters
2. 1.8 liters
3. 5.5 liters
4. 6.0 liters
5. 3.7 liters
6. 3.5 liters
7. 2.5 liters
8. 2.6 liters
9. 2.8 liters
10. 3.0 liters
From a Client Relocated to Scotland:
We decided to get something a little smaller here due to the narrow roads and high fuel costs. Looks like we will be driving a 2004 C220 CDI Elegance. Drove down to the dealer in Grange-mouth to see it Saturday, and it appears to be in beautiful condition - only 4,700 miles. The bad thing is that it will cost us nearly $37,000. Cars are much more expensive here; a new E350 with no options lists at over $65,000. Part weak dollar vs. the Pound Sterling and part due to the 17.5% VAT that applies to everything you buy, including cars. You can tell your customers they shouldn't complain about the prices in the U.S.!
John Dickinson
Zero to Sixty
Every time I go through a "Milepoint" birthday I go through the usual emotions:
21-"Great! Now I can drink legally. Why don't I feel grown up yet."
30 "Now I'm definitely an adult. Why don't I feel like one? Did I waste my 20s or what?"
40-"Now I'm getting old. I don't feel old. For that matter, I don't feel grown up yet." It was about then that The Redhead commented to a friend that she thought I was going through a mid-life crisis, but after 5 years she decided that was just the way I was.
50 "When do I start feeling grown up?" At 49 I had gone legally blind for about 6 weeks before the vision started coming back slowly. It's still pretty bad. That changed my outlook a lot.
60 "Hill? What hill? I don't remember any hill. I don't get it. I'm officially old now, getting a senior discount from most places that play that game. I expected to wake up and get wisdom. Nope. I'm still the scatterbrain I was yesterday. I still don't feel grown up."
I wrote a random selection of things that I've learned in 60 years:
If cats have 9 lives, I must be part cat, and, unfortunately, I've lost count. Uh Oh.
My life has been governed by three laws:
Murphy's Law-Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Sam Bisby's law-It's useless to step on the brakes if your car is upside down.
Cole's Law-thinly sliced cabbage
Most hand grenade 4 second fuses are really 3 seconds. Some are .25 seconds.
Do dangerous things very carefully.
Life may be a crooked game, but it's the only game in town.
There are two ways to argue with women. Neither of them works.
98% of drivers are below average.
Like most combat vets, I know I'll go to Heaven, because I've spent my time in hell.
Guys of my generation generally have poor hearing. Those who can't remember the 60's lost it from loud rock music. Those who can't forget the 60's lost it from artillery.
The front sight never lies, but the trigger finger does. (Non-shooters won't get this. Sorry.)
Whenever I'm depressed about how my life has turned out, I just think, "It could be worse. You could have been Hugh Hefner or Donald Trump or Steve Wynn or Bill Gates. Oh, never mind. Where did I leave those antidepressants?"
Reaching 60 is better than the alternative.
85.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I may grow old, but I refuse to grow up.
Tracers work both ways.
The easy way in is always mined.
Murphy was an optimist.
I've been absolutely faithful to The Redhead for 25 years because of three little words she whispers to me often:
"Smith and Wesson"
Anyone who doesn't think I can sell need only look at The Redhead and me together. If I wasn't a great salesman, how could I ever have won her?
She's also proof that not every decision I made was a bad one.
Old age is not for sissies.
Regrets are a weight on your back, and if you're not strong enough to carry them, they can really drag you down. They're just really hard to throw off and walk away from.
A misspent youth is like buying on credit. You're going to pay later. Bones broken when you're young hurt when you're old, along with things you didn't even break.
Before you do something, think: What would I do if I wasn't afraid?
It's okay to BE afraid. It's just not okay to show it.
My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.
Pleasing women and pleasing cats have a lot in common, usually impossibility.
Anything you can do in combat can get you killed, including doing nothing. Life is like combat in that respect, but Jimmy Doolittle, Joe Foss and Eddie Rickenbacker died of old age, proving once more that you have nothing to fear in this life.
Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have a Margarita.
Curt Rich October 2005
October's Reading Assignment (pop test next month):
Myths About Gun Control by John Stossel