Hohenschwangau, one of "Mad" King Ludwig's castles. You can see this if you pick up your car on European Delivery. See the article below.

CURT'S NEWSLETTER

August 2002

While most visitors to Disney World are aware of the tie-in with General Motors at the park due to the new Epcot ride, "Test Track," I'ts a little known secret that Mercedes crash tests their line of vintage replica military trucks at MGM Studios every 2 hours, 7 days a week. Interestingly, they use the same truck. For more scenes of a warped view of Disney World, Click this.

MAILING LIST UPDATE

On your newsletter mailing label is a code, normally a date, such as 0702 followed sometimes by a letter.

If your code is "0702P", then your card or e-mail was received, and you stay on the list. If you have a * after the code, it means you were on the mailing list in 0189 when I started keeping track. Thanks.

If your code is 0199 or later with "P" after it, you weren't sent a card this time because you sent one in during the last 2 years. You stay on the list.

If your code is 0601 or later with no suffix, then you'll be getting a card to send in to keep subscribing soon.

If your label has a date before 0199, then we have not gotten a renewal card from you, and this is your next-to-last newsletter. You won't get October 2002 unless you contact me.

Some people I didn't bother sending a card because, for one reason or another, I knew you wanted the newsletter. Hopefully I've updated all those labels. If not, contact me.

NOT Internet Only

I am NOT switching to internet only. The mailed version will continue. There are people in this world who do not own computers, believe it or not. There are also people who want to read it sitting down with a piece of paper in their hands. No problem. It will continue to come in the "snail" mail.

Extras in the Internet version

The internet version has pictures, links of interest, and articles that didn't fit in 5 pages of #10 Times type.

The reply cards are coming in, large stacks every day, and some people are telling us to take them off, that they read it on the net. Thanks to all.

E-mail notices

Some want me to send an e-mail notice when the newsletter is out. I'm working on it, but my mail program, doesn't allow me to mail more than 25 or so addresses for the same message, so my efforts at putting together a list of subscribers has gone for naught, so far. Go ahead and send me your e-mail address, and when I get this kink worked out, I'll send the notices out. "Mind-It" no longer sends such notices. Don't expect this to happen overnight. I think I'll have to upgrade to MAC OS 10 to solve the problem, and that won't happen overnight.

Where this would be very expensive if you got caught doing this in the USA, this is a normal, reasonable speed when you find an unlimited, unbusy part of the Autobahn. You might just be able to do this with the right car on European Delivery

No, the Disney World photos haven't spilled over by mistake. This is Schloss Neuswanstein, the last of "Mad" King Ludwig's castles. It's hard to get to, and the tour of the interior isn't quite worth the effort to get there, but it's the original fairyland castle. Easier to get to on the Black Forest Alps Rally is Schloss Linderhof, built in the rococo style for Bavarian King Ludwig II in 1874. But since picture taking wasn't allowed in the other castles of King Ludwig, I didn't carry the camera to Linderhof and have no photos. Photography is allowed in Linderhof. The tours were very crowded.

EUROPEAN DELIVERY

One of the best ways to buy a new Mercedes-Benz is through European Delivery. The Redhead and I have picked up two cars on EDP. (See October 1998 issue). Since that's been a while, let's talk about it again.

How it works

First, you see me. I'm the European Delivery Specialist at Star Motor Cars, Houston's Oldest Mercedes-Benz dealer, and I'm very experienced at European Delivery.

Theoretically, you could also start at www.mbusa.com/. Finding the European Delivery Department on the cover page is difficult. It's at http://www.mbusa.com/brand/container.jsp?/edp/index.jsp , but, frankly, ordering a car online is an idea whose time hasn't come. The website can help if you know exactly what you want, but it can't give advice. I can, based on 21 years with Mercedes-Benz. I can keep you from making mistakes, like picking a color combination that looks good online but not in reality. If you do go online, choose Star Motor Cars as your dealer of choice if this doesn't happen automatically, and, in the COMMENTS put "CURT RICH--SALESMAN". You'll still need to come by or talk on the phone. MBUSA hasn't tried to eliminate the sales reps completely (other than not paying us much anymore.)

What if I don't live in Houston?

I can still sell you a car and have it delivered to your home when it arrives in the US. MBUSA allows us to sell a few cars out of territory, and I don't go over my limit.

Cars Available:

(2003 models, of course):

C230 Coupes, C240 sedans and wagons, C320 sedans and wagons,

E320 and E500

S430 and S500

CLK320 and CLK500 Coupes

SLK

How to get a car not available:

If you're interested in a car not on the list, call, do not e-mail me, and I'll explain what I can do about that particular car. This is where the 21 years of experience comes in.

Models Definitely Not Available:

M-Class. They're built in Alabama for the US market. We do have an Alabama delivery. Or, as I call it, Bubba Delivery.

Air Travel

-is not included, but the European Delivery Travel Office can be very helpful and usually save you money.

Options and stuff

You can't specify a brand of tires, but when you get there you can ask for another brand. IF it's available, they'll charge 38.50 Euro.

The car will have floor mats installed when you pick it up, and another set will be put in the trunk at the port. You win. (Designo cars get only one set.)

The car will have a European first aid kit and a European Warning Triangle. Before dropping the car off, take these and put them in your checked luggage. Otherwise you'll never see them again. Your car will have a US First Aid Kit when it gets to the dealership.

Timing:

For normal cars, I need 4-5 months to order it to your specs. There are some pool cars for short notice situations-sometimes.

Financing:

Both financing and leasing are available through Mercedes-Benz Credit. Some banks and credit unions can handle Euro deliveries. Some can't. Again, call me. I'll work with your financing institution. It's usually much easier to use Mercedes-Benz Credit, and they're generally quite competitive.

Payment:

$2,000 when you order, the rest 30 days prior to delivery.

Included:

Two nights lodging at your choice of selected hotels

Fifteen days of zero-deductible comprehensive insurance (you can purchase additional insurance if you plan on staying longer in Europe.)

Two taxi coupons for travel from Stuttgart Airport or Central Railroad station to your hotel in Stuttgart or to the Sindelfingen Factory, and one for travel from the hotel to the Factory.

Breakfast or lunch at the Sindelfingen Factory (pick lunch. Breakfast is included at the Intercontinental Hotel. Pick the Gourmet restaurant. You probably won't be able to spend the entire coupon unless you have wine. Remember you're about to drive away!)

Ground transportation of your vehicle from any of the established drop-off points.

Ocean shipping and marine insurance

U.S. Customs Duty

European and U.S. wharf charges

Destination charge for transportation of your vehicle from the Mercedes-Benz vehicle processing center to your selected Mercedes-Benz Dealer (that's us).

Suggestions:

Reception at the European Delivery Center (click on image for larger image)

Fly into Stuttgart to land on Sunday. Use Sunday to catch up on jet lag. Stay at the Intercontinental. Have breakfast there Monday morning. Then take the taxi to the factory. 500 cars a day are delivered at the European Delivery Center because Europeans get their cars there, too. Most don't take delivery at the dealer. Most of the deliveries are Thursday and Friday. Plan on arriving in time to take the factory tour at either 8:30 AM, 10:00 AM, 11: 15 AM, 12:30 PM and 1:50 PM (Subject to change). Essentially you will check in, and the nice lady handling your paperwork will get started on it and suggest the factory tour to utilize the hour or 2 it will take to get the car finally ready. Some things aren't done until you show up. I'd suggest the 10:00 AM tour, so be there at 0930.

Car Pickup

The Redhead gets her car at the Europeand Delivery Center (click on image for larger image)

The nice man explains the car to The Redhead (click on image for larger image)

You will receive a DM 100 (probably Euro equivalent now) coupon for lunch at the European Delivery Center. They have 2 restaurants, a quick one and a gourmet restaurant. Even there it's hard to spend all of the coupon if you don't have wine--which isn't advisable if you're going to the autobahn to head to Baden-Baden. (click on image for larger image)

Someone who speaks English will do the delivery, explaining the car almost as well as I would. I suggest a "delivery" here on a similar car so you can save time there for more fun things. The car will have a full tank, and they will help you put your luggage in it. Then you will go down the road to:

E. H. Harms, the Shipping Agency

After you pick up your car, go to E. H. Harms and do the paperwork for dropping the car off at the end of your trip. The ladies there are very helpful.

Hotel Packages:

There are two, the standard package, which includes 2 days at any of the following hotels:

*Hotel Inter-Continental Stuttgart, *Schlosshotel Bühlerhöhe, Baden-Baden, *Parkhotel Adler, Hinterzarten, *Interalpen Hotel Tyrol, Telfs Austria, *Hotel Zur Tenne, Kitzbühel, *Schlosshotel Lisl and Jägerhaus, Hohenschwangau, *Hotel Bayerischer Hof, Munich, *Hotel Königshof, Munich, *Kempinski Munich Airport, Kempinski Hotel Gravenbruch, Frankfurt, Hotel Regent Petite, Strasbourg. Sofitel Le Faugourg, Paris, The Astor, Beau-Rivage Palace, Lausanne, The Goring, London, The Pelham, London.

Black Forest Alps Rally

Schlosshotel Bühlerhöhe (click on image for larger image)

Parkhotel Adler (click on image for larger image)

The bar at the Parkhotel Adler (click on image for larger image)

The indoor pool at the Parkhotel Adler (click on image for larger image)

Schlosshotel Lisl and the Jagerhaus (click on image for larger image)

Schloss Neuswanstein as seen from the window of our room from the Jagerhaus (click on image for larger image)

Hohenschwangau as seen from our window (click on image for larger image)

Interalpen-fabulous rooms (click on image for larger image)

All of the Interalpen's rooms face the sunset (click on image for larger image)

The view from our balcony. The sun sets behind that mountain. There's a mini-bar in the room. Open a bottle of a local wine, sit back on the balcony, and watch the sunset. (click on image for larger image)

Publicity shot of the Interalpen nestled up to its mountain view. (click on image for larger image.)

Interalpen Lobby, just a small part of it--fabulous (click on image for larger image)

Interalpen pool, equally fabulous (click on image for larger image)

Oberammergau, on the way to Munich from the Interalpen, fabulous woodcarvings, very commercial and tourist oriented, and that's not necessarily bad. (click on image for larger image)

Bayerischer Hof, one of the Fine Hotels of Europe (click on image for larger image)

Bayerischer Hof room-another fabulous room (click on image for larger image)

The bath in our room at the Bayerischer Hof. I don't normally photograph hotel bathrooms, but the photo was to show the size of the tub, not the bidet. This is probably the only bidet photo on the entire website. (click on image for larger image)

The hotels with * are on the Black-Forest Alps Rally. It's $1200 per couple extra, adding 4 nights. So you have six nights. Start at Stuttgart. Go to the Bühlerhöhe, then the Parkhotel Adler, then the Interalpen, then the Bayerischer Hof. Spend 2 nights in, say, the Interalpen. Six nights, starting on Sunday, puts you in Munich on Saturday, and Munich pretty much closes Saturday afternoon. I would suggest 2 additions to the itinerary. Go to the Schlosshotel Lisl after the Park Adler. Spend a night. See the castles. You can see Schloss Neuschwanstein in one window and Schloss Oberschwangau in the other. Then spend a night in Lindau (on your own. MB doesn't do a hotel there). Then go to the Interalpen. Driving from the Lisl to the Interalpen is a long drive. Break it up over 2 days.

Lindau, a beautiful town on the lake is worth seeing on the way to the Interalpen (click on image for larger image)

Additional nights, at MB hotels, are available at MB's rates. So a 9-10 day vacation is worthwhile. Adding a night to the Schlosshotel Bühlerhöhe is worthwhile. Strasbourg is just across the border and is worth seeing. The World's greatest collection of Bugattis is in a museum in Strasbourg. Additional nights in Munich are suggested just because its Munich, and you couldn't see the sights in a month. If you want to do shopping, you'll stop in Oberammergau when you pass it between Telft and Munich, and you'll want to be in Munich when the stores are open. Munich's shopping district is nicer than Stuttgart's, but Stuttgart's is acceptable.

Sensible Hours

Stores in Germany aren't like those in the U.S. They're not open 24 hours a day. They're open 10-6 Monday-Friday, and late on Thursday, and on Saturday morning, closing at 1 or 2. There the Germans are one up on us. SLOW DOWN. Shop when they're open. Eat and drink when they're not. On weekends relax. Would that we were so sensible.

Car Return on the Black-Forest Alps Rally

Where on regular trips you have to turn the car in to the local E. H. Harms office for shipment between 9 and 4 during the week (check hours of local office!), on the Black-Forest Alps Rally you simply leave the appropriate paperwork with the concierge at the Bayerischer Hof. KEEP the Manu-facturer's Certificate of Origin. Protect it like your passport. Your passport can be replaced. The E.H. Harms lady will segregate your papers so you give them the right ones and keep the right ones. If it's during the weekend you'll have to pay parking till Monday. Don't take off the license plates. They need them.

Taxi to airport

A taxi coupon to the airport is included in the Black Forest Alps Rally. Our flight was so early we missed the great Bayerischer Hof breakfast. Try to avoid that.

Your car will follow you

Usually 6-8 weeks after you drop the car off, it will reach Star Motor Cars. It will take longer if you drop it at a more distant drop-off point. When it arrives here we will put a state inspection on it and get your license and registration from the state. You don't pay taxes and fees until then. If it got a dent while in Europe, when it gets here there will be no dent, all part of the zero deductible insurance. We usually leave the German Tourist plates on and put the temporary Texas plate in the back window, so for a couple of weeks your neighbors will know you got it in Europe. We'll also put on the European Delivery grille badge. If you live far away, we'll deliver the car to you.

UNSAFE COP CARS

NBC did a piece on fires in Ford Crown Victoria Police Cars. Thirty deaths, including civilians, have occurred when the cars were rear ended. The Crown Vic is the last remaining big American car. GM stopped making the Chevy Caprice and other full sized cars in order to make more Suburbans and Tahoes. Chrysler has long been out of the big car business. Thus half a million Crown Vics have been put in police car service in the last 20 years, and 2.5 million in civilian service. Despite Ford's history of poor fuel tank design with the Pinto and Mustang II, despite their losses in court over them, Ford continued to design cars with unbaffled, unshielded tanks behind the rear axle. If the car is rear ended, the tank splits open, and gasoline contacts the hot exhaust. People are burned to death as a result.

Cops have enough problems. They're wildly underpaid. Politicians expect them to go places and do things at night alone they wouldn't do with a platoon of Marines in front of them. They immediately drop them in the grease the first sign that they've been slightly less than perfect in following a myriad set of regulations designed to make them totally ineffective and/or get them killed. They input rules that get cops killed, and then they either don't go to the funerals or use them as a photo op.

They don't need dangerous police cars.

"We know the tank is in a bad location," says Clarence Ditlow, executive director of the Center for Auto Safety, a consumer watchdog group. "We know that there are objects puncturing the tank in rear-speed crashes that are survivable. What we need to do is to recall that vehicle." As much as I hate to agree with Ditlow, I do in this case.

Ford did send a service bulletin to dealers suggesting modifications, and issued a statement to NBC News, calling the Crown Victoria a safe and effective vehicle for police work, citing a favorable accident and fire record. The company says it is "unaware of any technologies that can prevent fires in crashes at 70 to 100 miles per hour."

Ford did promise the Arizona Attorney General's office it would test fuel-tank bladders and shielding to further improve the Crown Victoria.

Really? No technology? How about fuel cells? During the Vietnam War thousands of American soldiers burned to death in helicopters because of fuel tank fires. Near the end of the war racing driver Fireball Roberts died in a race car fire. (Irony noted.) The people at Firestone thought that was terrible and developed the fuel cell. It was put into race cars and helicopters. Now you'll see a Blackhawk helicopter rolling down the side of a hill with no fire as we did this spring. Watch enough races and you know that race car fires are rare. 200 mph crashes usually don't result in fires.

Mercedes puts all of their fuel tanks in front of or over the rear axle except the E320 Station Wagon, and it is designed with a cable mount that drops it from the car if the bumper is crushed. Additionally the filler pipe is designed to close if broken off. The fuel tank passes tests the toughest rear crash test in the industry, as do all of our fuel tanks. Fires in Mercedes-Benz crashes are extremely rare, to the point I've heard of one in 21 years, and it was a real fluke.

Ford says that statistically their car is safe and doesn't burn more than others. Statistics are wonderful if you're not one of them. I remember days of light casualties. Light casualties are wonderful unless you're one of them or you're writing the letter home to the parents of the boy killed. Trust me. Every man killed in a war is someone's boy.

They need to put fuel cells and shielding in all active police cars.

LETTERS

Letter of the Month

I have been receiving your newsletter for a little while now and I must say that most of your "opinions" should be kept to yourself. I would appreciate receiving a newsletter if in fact it only covered information about the product I purchased and possibly recalls and safety information. I do not however, appreciate receiving in my home propaganda about someone else's sad views on religion and politics. Perhaps you would be wise to keep that information to yourself. I do believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe that censorship is allowed in one place in this great country and that place is called "home". If in fact you cannot restrain your comments from this so-called newsletter I would appreciate your withdrawing my name and address from the mailing list. You would also be well advised to take a writing course if you insist on creating something that you happily send out the public.

The atrocious "newsletter" is no longer welcome at my home. You will find the information for withdrawing our names from your mailing list under the name of my husband, (deleted).

Notes from the Reply Cards

Please DO NOT remove me from your mailing list for your NEWSLETTER. It is something I look forward to reading.

Thank you,

Robert G. Dillard, Jr.

Thanks, I needed that.

You can take me off your news letter, now that I can receive it on the web. It is comforting to see others that have similar views on subjects you write about. Keep up the "not afraid to say what you think" writing. It is a good balance of what is going on in the world today.

Marshall R Smith

Your newsletter is so good that anyone would buy a car to keep on the list. Keep me on.

Bob Wege

I learn something every time I read your newsletter. Please keep me on your mailing list.

Geraldine Welch

I visit your site often, but would appreciate continuing to receive your newsletter in mail. I usually pass it on to a friend, thanks.

Hugh Wilson

Thoroughly enjoy the newsletter, but often prefer hard copy as opposed to E-mail. Please keep me on the "hard copy" list.

Rick Breidenbach

I really enjoy your candor.

Frank Stevens, MBCA

We love it!!

Henry & Marcia Serafin

We enjoy reading your Newsletter and would like to continue receiving it. Thank you.

Mr. & Mrs. W. A. Sandberg

For 17 years I've enjoyed receiving your newsletter in the mail. And for the same 17 years, we've been driving the Volvo 240DL you sold us. My son came home from the hospital in that car when it was 2 months old. Now he's driving it. Do Volvo's ever die? :)

I'll look forward to your web addition each month. You are a wonderful writer.

Bill and Sue Kronenberger

Thank you for years of your ramblings. I shall keep up with you via www. Good luck,

Elmo Valdes

P.S. Still driving the '96 320.

I've been meaning to talk to you about that. There's a new one out, you know.

We enjoy your newsletter very much.

Don M. Ward

I like your newsletter. Over the years I've bought 1 Volvo and 2 MBs from you. However, I realize that postage is not free and is getting less so. I thought I'd sign up for the online newsletter. However, the "Mind-it" box at the bottom of your site doesn't like any of my email addresses.

Stuart Maudlin

The Mind-It people have stopped doing that stuff for free. They want more from me per month than the mailed newsletter costs. Currently my e-mail program will only let me mail out 25 or so addresses per mailing, so I won't be sending e-mail reminders until I get that sorted out. I'll keep you on the mailed list till then.

Thanks a lot. Have enjoyed it over the years-but will get it off the internet from now on.

Mr. & Mrs. J. P. Wandel

I look forward to your thoughts, experiences, and pithy commentary.

Joseph LaBella

We read every issue

Jim Dougherty, Jr

We enjoy your newsletter. Thank you!

Loraine Trammell

To Curt & The Redhead,

Thanks for all the years of good reading. We are looking forward to many more.

Bill & Ann Van Elst

Thank you very much! You rank at the very top of your profession. I have met a large number of people in the car business. I can assure you that you are number one. Thanks again.

Fernando R. Aurtrique

Thank you. I enjoy the Newsletter as well as my MB.

John Bierman

Keep me on your mailing list. I always enjoy the newsletter & your totally unbiased and politically correct reporting & commentary.

Rodney Cottrell

Thanks for all your efforts - we are enjoying every issue - including the pet reports.

Mr. & Mrs. Wolfgang Schweyer

Just wanted to say Thanks for all of the years we have received the newsletter. We are Old Volvo people. Always enjoyed it.

Patsy and Kent Lamb

(I'm amazed at high renewal rate among Volvo customers. I haven't talked about Volvos since we separated the Volvo store from the Mercedes store in October, 2000. This is great! Thanks.)

I enjoy your newsletter. Thanks for keeping me on your list!

Terry Whitley, MBCA

Look forward and enjoy your newsletter.

Dr. F. Robert Brueckmann

I was disappointed to hear "The return of the diesels" stories were an April Fool's joke.

Kevin Winfield

(Me, too!)

My wife and I read your newsletter religiously each month. Keep up the great work.

Richard Strauss

Yes. Please do keep me on your mailing list. We enjoy the newsletter very much.

Roy Berkeley

Thanks for continuing to send this. I really enjoy it!

Steven Smotrich

Yes! Absolutely. I am not computer literate. Please keep me on the hard copy list.

COL (Ret.) Edward H. Day, Jr.

Look forward to your excellent newsletter. Still driving the Volvo you sold me - 213,000 happy miles. Was looking forward to a Mercedes replacement till the recent stock market debacle. But someday I will have one.

Ron Langston

The stock market will recover.

Certainly, you can discontinue sending the hard copy of the newsletter. I used it mostly to give to my son when he came over to watch racing on Sundays. Since he has moved back to Texas (Rockport), I can just read the electronic version.

Every now and again Terry, my wife reads the newsletter, but mostly because I point out something I feel she will find interesting. I can do that online, too.

Terry has become quite an enthusiast and two years ago we bought her a vintage FV (so I could have my TR-4 all to myself). She had so much fun and we spent so little on the Vee by comparison with the money pit I raced, that I sold the Triumph and bought myself a Vee. See the happy couple in the attached photo:

We hope to retire from Florida in about four years and return to Texas. Who knows, we may even get a chance to purchase a car from you.

Roger Beasley

I will start reading the newsletter online, but I wanted you to know how much I enjoy it--thanks.

Charlotte Banham

We both enjoy your newsletter very much. We bought a brown 1983 380SEL from you on 12/30/82. It now has 172,000+ miles on it and is still going strong. Would appreciate some comparisons between the E430 and S430 and S500, to include some of the advantages, costs, and values of important extras, plus regular leather vs. luxury leather, etc. (a future newsletter could cover this item--maybe).

Brady A. Perry, retired USAF Jet Fighter Pilot

I'll have articles on the new E500 probably next month and will compare the E-Class to the S-Class in it. It's mostly a matter of size since you can get most of the luxury features on the E500. The luxury leather, napa leather, is generally unperforrated unless you get the active ventilated seats (air conditioned seats), while the "ordinary" leather is perforrated and has something that wicks moisture like linen or wool underneath. The Napa leather is softer and more luxurious in feel.

We read it and pass it on to friends. We frequently give your name out as a man who can be trusted!

Mr. & Mrs. John M. Fox

That is a true honor. Thank you.

Yes, I was a Volvo customer. Things change. I expect to be a MB customer again soon. You will be my 1st stop for purchase. Thanks for the newsletter.

Robert Jahn

Please keep me on your Newsletter mailing list. I've thoroughly enjoyed your articles (technical & opinion) over the years. Keep up the good work.

Joseph C. Icenogle

A-Class Availability

After studying German for two years, I vacationed in south Germany for three weeks in May and June - and I happened to rent a Mercedes Series A diesel car. It was a fine little vehicle - ran like a stripped-ass jack rabbit on the Autobahns.

Question: Can I buy this little car in America - and what kind of price tag would one carry?

Pete Shannon

Not yet. I think it's due in a couple of years when they come out with the next version. The current one costs more to make than they sell it for(!) MBUSA isn't keen on that sort of thing. Now making salesmen work for nothing, that they like.

MISC. RAVINGS

Training

I'll be away from the store for training August 13th (and the afternoon of the 12th to get there, and August 31 for other reasons.) Next month's newsletter will have details of what I learn about the 2003 cars.

Sky Marshals Disarmed of Nail Clippers

(From Newsmax.com)

The pilot who was the source of Chris Ruddy's "Pilot's Tale of March 29" was asked by Ruddy if he has noted any significant increase in sky marshals, who are eventually to be on every U.S. flight.

The pilot said he knows of only two flights since 9-11 that have included sky marshals. He said in both cases the plane had more than one marshal.

On one flight, a marshal told him an incredible story. The marshal said he cleared the X-ray area with some trouble.

Screeners had no problem with his firearm because he had proper credentials to carry as a sky marshal. But when screeners discovered his nail clipper in his carry-on baggage they made a stink.

Because "nail clippers" are an item prohibited on planes, the screeners insisted they had to be confiscated. The sky marshal had to part with his nail clippers as he went merrily to the gate carrying a loaded gun.

Signs

The State of Texas, having spent much of OUR money taking down SPEED LIMIT 70 signs and putting up SPEED LIMIT 55 signs is now spending more of OUR money making new decals to put on the SPEED LIMIT 55 signs with "70" on them. I wondered why they're not putting up the old "70" signs, and my contact at the State Sign Shop brought over samples of the old sign material and the new. The new is MUCH more reflective at night. Okay, they're doing something that makes sense-once.

Soon the entire US should have Florida sign rules. As their population aged, the gumment people had 2 choices, ban all the old people from driving, or change things. The first choice was politically unacceptable. Senior citizens vote. So they started making signs bigger and brighter. White lines on the edge of the road and dotted ones between lanes got brighter and bigger. It turned out to be A GOOD THING. Everyone can see the signs and stripes better.

Note Disney didn't follow this. They still have little-bitty signs on their roads, and if you stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, you can't get to the Animal Kingdom! No signs. You just have to know where it is or give up and U-turn. There are signs from the other direction. Strange.

Speaking of Disney

We rented the cheapest car we could get, a Hyundai. You know Hyundai by their motto, "We're better than KIA." Barely. After spending 6 days driving it I compared it to a similar sized Honda just to make sure I wasn't just absurdly spoiled by driving Mercedes all the time. No, the Honda is about 3 cars the Hyundai is. Having seen Hyundais in crash tests I drove very carefully.

People said, "You went to Disney and don't have kids?"

Yep. In fact, about the only thing we could complain about was they let kids in. They should have an "adults only" week, and the place would be packed to the gunnels. Of course, it was packed anyway July 4th. We learned how to avoid the crowds fairly well. My only complaint about Disney World is after 4 or 5 days in that wholesome atmosphere we needed some sleaze. Maybe they need to add Porno Island or something.

Actually, I have more than one complaint, but they're what you'd expect, expensive drinks, expensive breakfast, expensive t-shirts. But it was created to make money. It does. I think we could have done Europe for less money. But then we wouldn't have gotten t-shirts with rodents on them.

Jeff Cooper's Cat, Charles, Sept. 9, 2001. Charles is no longer with us, unfortunately

CATS, according to Dave Barry

"Cats are less loyal than dogs, but more independent." (This is code. It means: "Cats are smarter than dogs, but they hate people.") Many people love cats. From time to time, newspapers print stories about some elderly widow who died and left her entire estate, valued at $3,200,000, to her cat, Fluffkins. Cats read these stories, too, and are always plotting to get named as beneficiaries in their owners' wills. Did you ever wonder where your cat goes when it wanders off for several hours? It meets with other cats in estate-planning seminars. I just thought you should know.

The above was the obligatory cat article. Why obligatory? Women read the newsletter to find the cat stories. I probably have as many stories about my dog, John Moses Browning, but no one asks about him. This is too bad. He celebrated his 14th birthday recently. He's pretty spry for 98 in dog years. He's getting a bit grey around the muzzle and has developed a class 2 heart murmur. Ultrasound diagnostics are scheduled. He is a very good dog.

Browning does two tricks. One, like Blofeld's dog in one of the Bond flicks, if I tell him to sit, he will sit, even though one of his favorite treats is on the floor across from him. When I snap my fingers, then he will grab the treat. This works with words or hand signals. Two, if The Redhead is endangered, he will attack the source of the danger with the ferocity of a full-grown Doberman. It has been necessary for him to demonstrate this trick only once. He was as successful as if he had been a full-grown Doberman. He was well rewarded.

Of course, he will attack a vacuum cleaner with ferocity, too, but we don't count that.

He is also loved by the cats, though not when he is trying to steal their Pounce treats. I have caught Bear washing Browning's head. On the other hand, I have also caught Browning with a mouthful of grey fur. He was limping and bleeding at the time. Bear was perched on a high point, and all his prodigious fur was standing on end. Within a few hours they were friends again.

Life would be cold, indeed without a dog to teach me about unconditional love and a cat to teach me about humility.

Curt Rich August 2002

THINGS THAT DIDN'T FIT IN THE "SNAIL-MAIL" VERSION:

What's wrong with this picture?

(Coutesy National Motorists Association)

LINKS OF INTEREST:

Col. David Hackworth's Open Letter to Congress--Once more American troops have gone into harms way with ineffective weapons, and it is getting them killed.

Calif. Governor Signs Bill Outlawing SUVs, Light Trucks--No Joke. And the article's author doesn't realize that when California enacts automotive pollution regulations, it affects the entier Eastern seaboard as 12-14 states follow California regulations. Without change SUVs and light trucks of any size will cease to exist when this law comes into effect.

House Passes Changes to Arlington Cemetery Eligibility

Louisiana Governor Urges Women Scared of Serial Killer to Get a Gun

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