No, faith my cousin, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honor
As one more man methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. Do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the Feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a-tiptoe when this day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall see this day, and live old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbors
And say, "Tomorrow is Saint Crispian."
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say, "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with added luster,
what feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so lowly,
This day shall enoble his rank.
And gentlemen in England, now abed,
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here;
And hold their manhoods cheap while any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
Henry V - William Shakespeare
Fallen Heroesofficial list of casualties in Operation Iraqi Freedom. We can't forget that people are bleeding and dying for us.
Disclaimer: During a time of war most of this newsletter seems incredibly frivolous. But, on the other hand, you came here for your own reasons, without being forced, probably expecting a fairly normal newsletter. For the most part that's what you'll get, assuming these newsletters are ever normal.
©2003 May not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the author. This includes publishing at other websites.
OUT OF ORIFICE
I'll be out of the orifice April 9-12. The usual request applies. Please come in and buy something on any day of April other than these 4-from me.
HOT C-CLASS SPORT
The C-Class has been a huge success since 1994, almost tripling its total sales in 9 years. As a sedan with tremendous value, Mercedes-Benz safety, and luxury unlike any other vehicle in its class, the C-Class appeals to a diverse range of customers. Yet, what about the customer who is seeking a sporty sedan, one with a firmer ride and sporty interior such as the customer who gravitates toward a BMW 3-series or Audi A4?
Welcome the C-Class Sport Sedan to the sport sedan party. With its 7-spoke, 17" sport wheels, high-performance tires, Kompressor (supercharged) engine and incredibly low MSRP, the new C-Class Sport Sedan will make those considering a BMW or Audi think twice about their decision. In fact, customers considering the purchase of a BMW should know that the new C230 Sport Sedan offer more horsepower, more torque, and when packaged with similar equipment is less expensive than the BMW.
| 325 | 2003 | C230 |
| 184hp/175t | HP/Torque | 189hp/192t |
| $27,800 | Base price | $27,990 |
| $1,400 | Sport Package | No Charge |
| No Charge | CD | $400 |
| $1,050 | Sunroof | $1,600 |
| $385 | Rear Side Airbag | No Charge |
| Delta $ % | ||
| $30,365 | ($645) -2% | $29.990 |
The new C-Class Sport Sedan represents the first step in a long-term strategy to attract more diverse, younger customers to the Mercedes-Benz brand. Currently, Mercedes-Benz's core customers are Baby Boomers aged 38-56. Gen Xers, currently aged 26-37, represent an enormous oppor-tunity for Mercedes-Benz and its dealerships. Attracting Gen Xer to the Mercedes-Benz brand ensures a steady stream of customers to MB dealerships for years to come. Yet, one must be aware of the specific tastes of Gen X
Not Alone
Mercedes-Benz isn't alone in courting Gen X and/or performance-oriented buyers. Notice how both Lexus and Infiniti offer models to attract different buyers:
· Lexus IS300/Sportcross and Infiniti G35 are targeted at the enthusiast buyer. They have sporty styling, Rear Wheel Drive, performance/Innovations/Coupe/Cabriolet variants. BMW and Audi also target this group.
· Lexus ES300 and Infiniti I35 target traditional luxury buyers. They're front wheel drive (Mercedes-Benz stands alone in offering a Rear Wheel Drive model in this class). Comfort/Convenience/Safety are most important items.
Volvo also targets these buyers (front wheel drive again).
Now Comes the Tricky Part
The tricky part of this two-model strategy is not cannibalizing one model for the other. The two models need to polarize customers, meaning the customer is really drawn to one model or the other. Thus a potential C-Class customer will either be drawn to the wood trim and luxury of a C320 or C240 or the stiffer ride, sportier looks, and aluminum trim of the C230 and C320 sport models-but rarely both.
The Driving Enthusiast wants high performance, aggressive styling, technology, and innovations.
The Traditional Luxury Buyer wants Luxury, Elegant Styling, Comfort/ Convenience, and Safety. (Yes, there's overlap.)
Different Tastes
The C-Class Sport buyer may have different tastes and needs than the conventional C-Class Sport Sedan buyer:
· Younger demographic than traditional C-Class buyers. Technology savvy, using the Internet as an information tool for shopping.
· Brand conscious: First-time luxury vehicle buyers who view their purchase as a symbol of success. Upwardly mobile in the work force, but not ready for an E-Class.
· Predominantly male, possibly auto enthusiast.
· Single, very social people requiring 4-door functionality rather than a coupe.
· Possible plans for family, but prioritize sportiness for purchase consideration.
Style and Individuality
· Overall, C-Class styling is sporty and dynamic, suggesting power in a contemporary package
· The front end establishes the exterior's sporty, harmonious elegance as an integrated unit, including the bumper assembly
· From the side, the sedan 's sleek silhouette has a wedge-shaped contour with a coupe-like roofline.
· In fact, the dimensions of the C-Class Sedan are more like a coupe than a sedan
· At the rear, the short deck and rear styling provide a powerful expression of the car 's dynamic character, including an attractively integrated bumper
· Inside, the overall impression is one of harmony and top quality
The C-Class has a distinct identity, but with a number of cues making it clear that these sedans are still part of the Mercedes-Benz family. Family styling cues include:
· The Mercedes-Benz grille, with flat, wide proportions
· Headlamps similar to those on other Mercedes-Benz Classes, yet uniquely designed
· Tail lamps with typical Mercedes-Benz ribs, yet with a unique shape
Not only is the C-Class exterior sporty and elegant, it is aerodynamic, with a drag coefficient of 0.27, lower than most of its competitors. Low drag was accomplished, in part, by:
· The shapes of its exterior parts, beginning with the rounded and angled front end and ending at the high rear deck. Seals around the radiator and headlamp assemblies that help direct airflow around the vehicle rather than into the engine compartment
· Underbody panels that provide a smooth surface for efficient airflow under the car
· As beautifully proportioned and aerodynamically slick as the C-Class is its aerodynamics have practical applications. Its low drag helps to improve fuel economy and to reduce wind noise in the interior for greater ride comfort.
Driving Dynamics and Pleasure
C-Class drivers enjoy superb driving dynamics and elegant poise. Sporty, responsive and quick, these sedans also operate smoothly and efficiently. Simply put, their mechanical features make them fun to drive.
Mechanical features and systems contributing to driving fun include:
· An overall chassis layout with the engine in front and drive wheels in the rear the preferred layout for performance car
· A suspension system that enhances driver control:
· A 3-link front suspension with coil springs over gas-pressurized shock
· A 5-arm multilink rear suspension with coil springs
· Front and rear stabilizer bar
· A long 106.9" wheelbase that also contributes to ride comfort
· A 4-wheel-disc braking system with ABS and standard Brake Assist, which contribute to steering control during braking and potentially shortened braking distances
· Power-assisted rack-and-pinion steering, which provides a direct feel of the road
· Powerful, low-emission engines
· Transmissions that invite interaction with the driving experience, adding to driving pleasure:
· Standard 6-speed manual transmission
· Optional electronic 5-speed automatic transmission with Touch Shift
· Systems that improve driving dynamics by increasing stability and traction control standard ESP with ASR
Ride Comfort and a Comfortable Interior
Occupant comfort is one of the hallmarks of a Mercedes-Benz automobile. The C-Class is no exception, with interior features that provide comfort during travel of any duration. With their most obvious role in providing a comfortable interior, the seats are designed to enhance occupant comfort, including:
· Leather seating inserts
· Several layer of breathable material under the upholstery that allow air to circulate for greater occupant comfort
· Support from cushions and seatback that holds up through long-distance travel
In addition, the front seats have these important features:
· 8-way adjustment with power adjustment for height and recline (C240, C230 Sport)
· 10-way power adjustment and 3-position memory (C320, C320 Sport)
Rear-seat occupants benefit from these comfort features:
· Center fold-down armrest with dual cupholders
· Standard head restraints for all three seating positions
· Optional split fold-down seats that increase the options for carrying occupants comfortably when hauling cargo
Along with seating, the C-Class has a long list of standard and optional features that contribute to occupant comfort. Because these features also increase the inherent value of C-Class sedans, most of them are mentioned under that heading. However, a couple of them are also worth pointing out because of their influence on occupant comfort:
· Automatic dual-zone climate control
· Standard activated charcoal filter with smog-sensing automatic air recirculation and 4-way sun sensor (C320)
· Auto-dimming interior and driver-side exterior rearview mirror that cut glare (optional in the C2 package)
Security and Safety
Like other Mercedes-Benz vehicles, the C-Class sedans have a rigid occupant cell with front and rear crumple zones, which provide the following benefits:
· A large survival space
· Minimal deformation in all zones relevant to occupant safety
· Maximum safety in all types of collisions through the design of its body-structure components, including:
· Sturdy crossmember
·High-strength steel, low-alloy steel
· Optimized profiling and design of cross-sectional areas of all parts relevant to safety
· Large deformation zones
· Optimized energy flow in predetermined deformation zones.
Inside, most customers relate safety to the restraint system. The C-Class restraint system includes the following highlights:
· Three-point seat belts and head restraints for all five seating positions
· Emergency Tensioning Retractors (ETR) with belt force limiters for the front and outboard rear occupants
A full complement of supplemental air bags, including:
· Two-stage front air bags
· Front and rear side-impact air bags
· Head Protection Curtains from the A-pillar to the C-pillar, providing protection for front and outboard rear occupants
Other interior systems that contribute to occupant safety include:
· The deformable steering wheel, which absorbs some impact forces in certain types of impacts
· Optional Tele Aid, which immediately and automatically begins the process for alerting emergency services in the event of an air bag or ETR deployment (depends on cellular coverage and requires subscription for monitoring service).
Don 't forget the role of the provisions for active safety. Among them are:
· Mechanical features that contribute to driving safety:
· Responsive engines and adaptive automatic transmissions
· 3-link front suspension with coil springs over gas-pressurized shock and 5-arm multilink rear suspension with coil springs, both with stabilizer bar
· Power-assisted rack-and-pinion steering
· Handling control improved by ABS, BAS, and ESP
· Perceptual safety features:
· Standard halogen headlamps and front foglamps, along with a rear foglamp
· Auto-on headlamps
· Programmable Daytime Running Lamps
· Optional bi-xenon headlamps
Value
Value is intrinsic in all Mercedes-Benz vehicles, but especially in the C-Class. Quality, safety, and performance are built in and as important in the C-Class sedans as they are in the E-Class and S-Class sedans.
Standard and optional interior features in the C-Class include:
· The instrument cluster and multifunction steering wheel/display
· Information is available at a glance
· Control switches are easy to access created as a single unified whole (i.e., mirror and light controls in a single unit)
· Multifunction steering wheel allows the driver 's attention to be focused on the road
· Systems operated through the multifunction steering wheel and display include odometer, audio system, optional telephone, trip computer, fault memory and vehicle configurations management
· Fiber-optic network for the audio system
· Factory prewiring for the optional CD changer and integrated cell phone
· Bose® sound system (C320, C320 Sport, optional C240, C230 Sport)
· Optional COMAND
Mechanical features, too, add value:
· A lightweight, low-friction engine design that contributes to both power and efficiency
· Chain-driven camshafts that add to reliability, durability and reduced maintenance costs
· A dual-ignition system with two spark plugs per cylinder that reduces emissions and improves performance
· A stainless-steel exhaust system that increases durability
· The Flexible Service System, which tells the operator when oil changes are required
· Electronic control of both the engine and automatic transmission, which adds to performance and comfort
SELLING TELE-AID
All Mercedes except the C-Class come standard with TeleAid. It's a $775 option on the C-Class.
TeleAid is an emergency communications system, emergency vehicle locator, and Theft Recovery System. Annual monitoring is $240/year, about what your alarm monitoring costs without the false alarms.
It's saved a good number of lives and recovered most of the cars stolen equipped with TeleAid. It's prevented a good number of thefts directly through alarm notification and an unknown number more because thieves avoid Mercedes with little antennas on the roof.
I know of one lady who is convinced it saved her from rape/murder.
How much is it worth? I don't know. Ask that lady. Ask someone who's car was recovered or who was rescued quickly after a bad accident.
Since its inception I've managed to get every customer to take the first, free year. After that, if they don't want to renew, I've done my Christian duty, and I have no personal guilt if they need it and don't have it-as has happened with serious consequences to at least one lady who didn't renew-not one of mine. Most of my customers have been able to feed and dress themselves for several years, so they can make their own decisions.
Selling it costs me money. TeleAid doesn't pay sales reps to sell it. They claim that we don't have to do anything to sell it. Balderdash is putting it mildly. Filling out the complicated, hard to understand TeleAid form takes 15-20 minutes of the customer's and my time. Then I have to fax it to TeleAid and call to verify that: 1) they got the fax. (The percentage of times they have gotten it has gone from 70 to almost 100%.). 2) They have the "downloads," the codes and serial numbers from the unit needed to make it work. (This is a major problem if they don't, and 13% of the time they don't.) 3) They can read the VIN and the customer's credit card #s, and that the CC comes up good. If any of this is not correct, the system can't be activated, and the customer will go away mad-and lacking a major safety system.
Once all of this is done, the system is supposed to be activated within 30 minutes. I generally don't try to activate for closer to an hour, and 55% of the time I'm able to. When I can't I'll be told that the TeleAid people are busy (!), or that AT & T hasn't done their part of activation, or given another excuse. They always say, "Call again in 30 minutes."
This leaves me with the dilemma of telling the customer to stay at the store for 30 more minutes or to call them again when it's convenient for them.
There are two problems with this: 1.) Customers want me there to help with the call, and I've waited till last to make the call to allow the TeleAid people an average of an hour to do the job they claim they can do in 30 minutes. It's time for the customer to go play with his new toy, not to wait here for another half-hour. The customer will not be happy with TeleAid or me.
2.) TeleAid will not be happy with me. This is a "drive-off", and they send nastygrams about drive-offs to my manager.
Other sales reps don't make this effort. I do it because I think TeleAid is a major safety item. Not every customer agrees with me, so I spend a lot of time selling the system.
Others, at the first objection, will tell the customer, "Check this box marked "Rejected" and sign here." Then they're done. Effectively they're making more money per sale. Time is money. They've just saved half an hour and eliminated all TeleAid related complaints. They put into it an appropriate amount of time for the pay they're getting, but it's a serious disservice to their customers.
If my customers didn't come first, I guess I'd do the same thing.
LEXUS RX330
The little RX300 has been Lexus' best seller. I predict the 330 will continue that. Mercedes first made a SUV for the luxury market, with a car-like ride. Lexus did better focus grouping. They realized a) no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people and b) nobody really goes off road. They just want to sound macho over cocktails. The few who do go off road buy off road vehicles. Where Mercedes started with a chassis designed from the ground up to be a SUV capable of going almost anywhere, Toyota just stuck a SUV body on a Camry front wheel drive chassis. Most RX sales are of the FWD variety. Four wheel drive is an option at extra cost. This gives them a low price edge.
Arriving in early April, months ahead of the new ML series, the second generation RX is "longer, wider, taller, smoother, quicker, more maneuverable, and, of course, more luxurious than the current Generation."
Interestingly they stretched the body 6.1 inches in length and 1.1 inch wider, but they didn't increase it's already too short wheelbase of 106.9 inches. An ML is 111 inches. If all else is equal, the longer wheel base vehicle is smoother, better handling, more stable, and safer. But 106.9 is perfect for a Camry. Height, which was inadequate for Texians before, was increased a half inch. The rear hatch is sharply raked, limiting interior carrying space. But that was increased to match the ML's interior volume with the rear seat down.
The engine is 3.3 liters, 230 hp, vs. 3.7 liters and 240 hp for a ML350. The RX is lighter since it doesn't have 4WD and rear side impact airbags among other things, so it's a bit faster.
Lexus, of course, invented everything from scratch. Just ask them. They have an optional-at-extra-cost air suspension with 4 height settings. Let's see, we put Airmatic in S-Class cars in 1992 wasn't it? Or do we count the air suspensions in the 300SELs way back when? Amazing how we steal their inventions and put them into production 11 years before they manage to. Or was it 40ish?
In 1948 Tucker stole their swiveling front headlight idea.
Rear vision is so poor an optional Rear Backup Camera, paired with the optional navigation system, is available at extra cost.
They'll sell all they can get.
CAUSES OF ACCIDENTS
One of the largest studies to date on crashes involving distracted drivers, researchers found looking at other accidents, traffic, or roadside incidents caused the largest number of accidents, while cell phones ranked only sixth.
The study was based on data collected by Virginia State Troopers on more than 2,700 crashes involving distracted drivers between June and November 2002.
Researchers found that all of the crashes reported, 8% involved a single distracted driver.
"We've known for years that drivers contribute more to causing crashes than the vehicle or the roadway," says Robert Breitenbach, director of the Transportation Safety Training Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, in a news release. "In many instances the driver error involves not paying attention to the driving task. We can now identify those distractions with some confidence."
Rubbernecking was responsible for the largest number of accidents reported (16%) followed by driver fatigue (12%), looking at scenery or landmarks (10%), passenger or child distractions (9%), adjusting the radio, tape, or CD player (7%), and cell phone use (5%).
Overall, various distractions inside the vehicle accounted for 62% of the distractions reported. Distractions that came from outside the vehicle accounted for 35% of all distractions, and 3% of the distractions were undetermined.
Nearly two-thirds of the crashes in the study occurred in rural areas and were often caused by driver fatigue, insects entering or striking the vehicle, or animals and unrestrained pet distractions.
Automobile accidents caused by distracted drivers in urban areas tended to be the result of drivers looking at other crashes, traffic, or vehicles or cell phone use.
Researcher James M. Ellis of Virginia Commonwealth University says the findings should apply to other regions of the US because the areas studied contained a representative mix of rural and urban counties, a diverse ethnic population, and varying road conditions and types.
(condensed from WebMD Medical News March 7, 2003, by Jennifer
Warner)
MISC. RAVINGS
Groucho Marx Quote
"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others."
Suspension Alignment
Mercedes are aligned at the factory after efforts are made to get the suspension pieces to "settle." In Germany the cars are put on a "shaker" to settle the suspension components. In Alabama the trucks are driven over yellow railroad ties to accomplish the same end. As a result, nearly all Mercedes arrive here properly aligned and don't need alignment for a good while, even in Mayor Brown's Pothole Paradise.
But Mercedes-Benz USA offers one alignment and wheel balance under warranty if necessary during the first 12 months or 12,000 miles.
It should be noted that all Mercedes alignment specs create some "drift" to the right. Roads are crowned for drainage. If you're on the right side of the crown, a Mercedes will "drift" to the right if you take your hands off the wheel. If you can find a perfectly flat, uncrowned road, the car will probably track like an arrow. If it pulls one way or another on the flat concrete, then it needs alignment.
In 22 years of dealing with Mercedes none has EVER been reported to me as pulling to the left. I suspect a lot of alignments are done to cars that are in spec but are drifting on crowned roads.
Who to Call
When I turned on the phone this morning a plaintive voice mail greeted me. A client had crashed and needed a tow and couldn't get through to TeleAid for some reason. This happened 10 hours before I got the message. I felt terrible because the person sounded desperate.
I'm not the person to call in a towing emergency. During business hours I might be able to help, but there are better numbers to call. In order:
1. TeleAid-push the wrench buttonfor three secondsif you just need a tow. If you need police/fire/paramedics, push the SOS buttonfor three seconds. If neither works (total electrical failure), or if you didn't subscribe/don't have it:
2. Dial 1-800-FOR-MERC, that's 1-800-367-6372. This is Roadside Assistanceposted on the inside of the vanity mirror cover except SLKsin the glove box.
3. If you're in our area of operation (or close), try 713-291-7709. This is the direct cell # for our Roadside Assistance driver.
Powell Quote
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying that, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."
Embedded Reporters
One of the problems of putting out a monthly rag in a fast moving world is things change rapidly, making what I write obsolete before it's published. Operation Iraqi Freedom started while I was working on this. I've spent much of my spare time, often deep into the night, watching the live coverage from the embedded reporters. Greg Kelly, with the 3rd Infantry Division, and Rick Leventhal with a Marine Light armored Vehicle unit, in particular, have given riveting reports, live, of combat movements and actual combat.
Having reporters embedded was a brilliant coup on behalf of the military. There's a natural animosity between the military and reporters. Reporters tend to want to make the military look bad and give away secrets. The military, with good reason, wants their secrets to remain secret. Lives depend on it. We all remember the Saturday Night Live skit from the Gulf War in '91 with the reporter asking the briefer what secret would be most useful to the enemy. That wasn't far from real questionsthen and now. But now these reporters are up front where the results on those ill-advised questions and revelations could get THEM killed along with American troops. They're much more careful. They also are learning, by living with them, that our military is made up, not of monsters, baby killers, and war criminals, but of dedicated men and women who would rather be somewhere else but took an oath to protect and defend. It's us they're protecting and defending. What have you done to deserve their protection and sacrifice?
Curt's View of the war
1. We're the good guys.
2. The enemy are the bad guys.
Any questions?
(Angry) Letter of the Month
If I want a car with so-so performance and not as quiet as a gas car then I will look elsewhere rather than plunking down $50k for an E-class diesel. Even if they are OK when brand new, you can count on them getting loud and smokey as they age. Diesel owners are notorious cheapskates and will not maintain their cars properly. Instead, they will let their cars decay and proudly boast how their diesels "run forever" without maintenance. The benefit of no ignition parts is getting weak as spark plugs are now good to 100k miles and diesels more than make up for that with their more frequent oil changes (oil change interval the same, 10,000 miles +, CRR). Diesel Mercedes cars in the USA will be great news for Lexus as they will drive away your customers as they did in the past.
You have to understand that diesels are popular in Europe only because of artificial government pricing of fuel. Diesel is a third less than gas in Europe, whereas diesel costs almost the same as gas in the US. We have restricted diesels in California not because we are Draconian but because we have a smog problem. The 1980's Mercedes diesels were just plain filthy and were some of the worst cars that I have ever driven.
Del Johnson
Amazing. Mr. Johnson is not one of my subscribers or clients. Unsolicited, he spent time to send this venom-filled letter filled with lies, half-truths, and a complete ignorance of modern diesels or the causes of California smog. Chill out, Mr. Johnson. Life is too short to spend it sending hate mail to someone you don't know who never did you any harm. Find someone to whom you can send a friendly letter, someone who wants to hear from you, someone whose day you can brighten by entering the room instead of by leaving.
Phone Situation
The current Mercedes-Benz phone, the Motorola V.60, is a neat phone. Should it become un-neat with time, it can be upgraded to the current generation MB-Motorola phone with the change of the handset and possibly cradle and cable. This is good because the phone companies intend to obsolete every phone out there every 4 years. We didn't know that back in the 90s. Here's the situation on older Benz phones:
2000 and earlier-phones not upgradable to current standards. The cars don't have the built in antennas for 2 digital bands and one analog band.
2001 cars-phones upgradable, but entire unit must be changed. Not cheap.
2002 cars with TimePorts-upgradable. Requires handset, cradle, and cable. Still not cheap, but a lot less than a 2001.
Complaints should start at 1-800-FOR-MERCedes, not here.
Churchill Quote
"Never give innever, never, never, neverin nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." - Sir Winston Churchill
A PET'S PRAYER
by Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for the kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to
deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather,
hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon
of eternal rest - and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew,
my fate was ever safest in your hands.
Curt Rich April 2003
SURVIVAL TIPS
Ten Survival Tips from a Former Infantryman
By Bob Merriman
In squad-level training at Advanced Infantry Training at Fort Polk, La., many years ago, a staff sergeant instructor said: "What we teach you here is not guaranteed to keep you alive. But, what we teach might keep you alive long enough for you to figure out what to do."
Addressed to slick-sleeve privates, the sergeant's words contain what every soldier knows: There are no guarantees.
With American soldiers about to again go into harm's way, I offer a few rules learned as an 11 Bravo squad leader and platoon sergeant. (Remember, these are rules to follow, not laws of occurrence. A law of occurrence is. Your radio will fail when you need it most. A law of occurrence is: The artillery fire you need now is going somewhere else.)
1. Never ask for volunteers. If you are in charge, asking for volunteers is a waste of precious time. Soldiers will debate with and among themselves about whether to volunteer, and the moment for action will have passed.
2. Never volunteer.
3. Cash the check. If the Army wants the money back, you will be told. I once tried to return a $32 overpayment. The paperwork took more than a year.
4. Always conduct reconnaissance. Always, always, always. Even if you don't think reconnaissance is necessary, do it anyway. Especially if you don't think it is necessary.
5. Camouflage everything. That's everything. Dirt, rocks, trees if necessary -anything that might cause the enemy to spot your position.
6. Always know how many rounds are in your magazine. Few things are more frustrating than having a bolt unexpectedly lock back when you thought you knew how many rounds you had remaining.
7. Never miss an opportunity to eat or sleep. You don't know when the next chance will occur.
8. When you wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night, touch your rifle. Before you shake possible scorpions out of your boots, before you even think about that first cup of coffee, touch your rifle. Before you go to sleep, touch your rifle. It's there; you can see it, but touch it anyway.
9. Always carry spare batteries. In the increasingly technological, battery-driven Army, even a grunt needs batteries. And more batteries.
10. There is no such thing as overkill. If you have a valid target, fire on it, call for fire, and then call for more fire.
Good NCOs know all these rules, and more. If you have a question, ask your sergeant. If your sergeant does not know, he or she will find the answer. If your sergeant fails to find out, the Army is paying the wrong person.
A 20 x 24" framed on canvas print of this, the quintessential Bear, now looks down on our living room, where Bear spent much of his quality time with us. With Bear it was all quality time.
After Bear
Merlin is getting the bulk of the excess
affection. Emerald, like most female Persians, only wants affection under
her terms. She begs for Pounce cat treats, sitting on the arm of the La-Z-boy
and tapping me with her left forepaw until she has my attention. If that
doesn't work, she manages to climb on one of my pressure points with all
8 lb. on about 1/2 sq. in. causing acute agony until I give her the Pounce.
During the first week after Bear was gone she curled up next to me on the
bed, something she had never done. But she's gone back to normal now.
Merlin will sit at the back door when I'm due home as Bear did, and he wants to sit on my chest and purr as soon as possible after I come home. Undisturbed, he will do that for half an hour or so. If disturbed he usually doesn't come back for a while.
Browning soldiers on without any noticeable change.
When I worked in the garage Bear would sit in the nearest window and cry loudly, pacing back and forth. The first Sunday I worked in the garage Merlin did that all day. He never did before or since. That morning he had climbed on the breakfast table and lay on the comics much as Bear would have done. When I came in that evening he put his paws around my neck and wouldn't let go for some time.
In the jockeying for position Emerald seems to have won. Hissing fights between her and Merlin have been rarer than before. Merlin, now the alpha male, seems to need less grooming and eye care. He still spends time sitting in my lap when it's available and purrs on demand.
Neither of the cats comes to breakfast and tries to eat my Cheerios or drinks the leftover cereal milk. It's very lonely at breakfast. Bear used to sit on the comics. He couldn't read, so he didn't want me to.
One of the reasons we're doing so well in Iraq is the marvelous Abrams Main Battle Tank. It might not have been designed specifically for this war, but it's sure been optimized. At the time of writing, no crewman has been killed by an Iraqi tank or anti-tank weapon. Only 4 were knocked out diuring Gulf War 1, but the crews survived, including a direct side hit (thinner armor than the front, more vulnerable), by a T72's main gun at optimum range. It can fire while moving over broken terrain at 30 mph and make a first round hit because of the gun stabilization system. First round hits at 3900 meters were recorded routinely during Gulf War 1. The T72 is blind at that range. The thermal imaging system is right out of Star Wars. You'll note virtually no friendly fire incidents involving them this time because they have the means of recognizing friend or foe at maximum range. This is one of many improvements from Gulf War 1. The crews have been extremely well trained and have routinely displayed expertise, discipline, and general excellence.
No link between Saddam Hussein and 9/11?
A Canadian man had to be rescued by police after his cat went berserk and trapped him in a bathroom.
It took two police officers and animal control officer Ron Sabean, to subdue the seven-year-old cat.
The pet was snarling and hissing at the bathroom door in the house near Greenwood, Nova Scotia, when Mr Sabean arrived.
He said: "I've been in this business going on 24 years and I've never seen a cat focus on a person like that one did."
He had been called by police, who were unable to catch the cat on their own.
Mr Sabean said the cat has lived indoors all its life and has had no contact with other animals.
Although it had previously been good with its owners, it has been known to spit and hiss at strangers.
The trapped man suffered scratches in the incident, reports the Canoe website.
Story filed: 13:19 Tuesday 11th March 2003
(Maybe now we know why Canada wouldn't join the coalition.)
The ACLU has filed suit to prohibit crosses on federal land. This could create a problem:
The Houston Scale Auto Racing club asked me to post a link to their site, so here it is:
www.houstonscaleautoracing.com
The Viet Cong Admiration Society Retreats
by Ann Coulter
April 2, 2003
HISTORIAN PAUL JOHNSON refers
to the American left's behavior during the Vietnam War as "America's
suicide attempt." The firing of NBC reporter Peter Arnett this week
proves the nation has fully recovered. Now we don't have to wait 20 years
for a history book to tell us that Walter Cronkite lied about the Viet Cong's
Tet offensive being a smashing success. The sedition lobby can't compete
with the truth available in the new media. Complete
column at anncoulter.org
Disclaimer: The following came from Idiot Stories. I can't vouch for its accuracy. For all I know it might be pure fiction, but it makes a good story.
Idiotic Tourist - Woman Killed By Elephant While Taking Photo
On January 7th of this year, a woman was on a safari tour in Tanzania. See, apparently she was a volunteer for the Peace Corps and had decided to see a bit of the animal life in its natural habitat. Well, someone should have told her that 'natural habitat' does not include people wanting a better picture. Seems like she wanted a good snapshot of an elephant during a tour of Ruaha National Park, and proceeded to get out of the tour bus and approach the beast for a close up. Well, Simba didn't like that, and charged the woman, crushing her head with his enormous feet, as well as the camera.
The bus driver, Samua Selbir, told the associated press that, "The elephant saw her approaching and got scared. I told the women to get back in the bus but she told me that she is in the peace corps and know how to handle the elephant. The next thing I knew I saw the animal (elephant) walk up to the women, kick her legs from under her, then placed his heavy foot on top of her head. Her brain came right out of her skull and the blood and brain pieces spewed onto my bus."
The husband of the women, living in Chicago, gave the following short statement:
"Brenda was a women that had more of a passion for animals than Mother Theresa had for humans. I can picture my wife's face with a huge smile on it while the elephant was crushing her skull, and I know that she would never blame an animal for protecting itself. I have been asked if I blame the animal for her death, and I don't. I blame the American government for spending money on a possible war with Iraq instead of placing that money where it belongs, and it belongs in animal behavioral research. My wife would be alive today, possibly making love to me right this moment, if America backed off of Iraq and spent that money not on war machines, but on elephant hypothalamus research".
This Month's Urban Legends
Is it true Target Stores do not support veterans? Status: False
Did Charlie Daniels pen an open letter to 'the Hollywood Bunch'? Statis: True
Protesters Throw Stones at National GuardswomanYou can't imagine how mad this makes me. I know of too many Vietnam era nurses who were spat upon and otherwise abused for wearing their country's uniform. Now they've done it to another woman. This pushes all of my buttons. Fortunately I wasn't there.
Who's Smarter?
by Cindy Osborne
The Hollywood group is at it again. Holding anti-war rallies, creaming about the Bush Administration, running ads in major newspapers, defaming the President and his Cabinet every chance they get, to anyone and everyone who will listen. They publicly defile them and call them names like "stupid", "morons", and "idiots". Jessica Lange went so far as to tell a crowd in Spain that she hates President Bush and is embarrassed to be an American.
So, just how ignorant are these people who are running the country? Let's look at the biographies of these "stupid", "ignorant" , "moronic" leaders, and then at the celebrities who are castigating them:
President George W. Bush: Received a Bachelors Degree from Yale University and an MBA from Harvard Business School. He served as an F-102 pilot for the Texas Air National Guard. He began his career in the oil and gas business in Midland in 1975 and worked in the energy industry until 1986. He was elected Governor on November 8, 1994, with 53.5 percent of the vote. In a historic re-election victory, he became the first Texas Governor to be elected to consecutive four-year terms on November 3, 1998 winning 68.6 percent of the vote. In 1998 Governor Bush won 49 percent of the Hispanic vote, 27 percent of the African-American vote, 27 percent of Democrats and 65 percent of women. He won more Texas counties, 240 of 254, than any modern Republican other than Richard Nixon in 1972 and is the first Republican gubernatorial candidate to win the heavily Hispanic and Democratic border counties of El Paso, Cameron and Hidalgo. (Someone began circulating a false story about his I.Q. being lower than any other President. If you believed it, you might want to go to URBANLEGENDS.COM and see the truth.) (Actually it's in Snopes.com. To be precise it's http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/presiq.htm CRR)
Vice President Dick Cheney: Earned a B.A. in 1965 and a M.A. in 1966, both in political science. Two years later, he won an American Political Science Association congressional fellowship. One of Vice President Cheney's primary duties is to share with individuals, members of Congress and foreign leaders, President Bush's vision to strengthen our economy, secure our homeland and win the War on Terrorism. In his official role as President of the Senate, Vice President Cheney regularly goes to Capital Hill to meet with Senators and members of the House of Representatives to work on the Administration's legislative goals. In his travels as Vice President, he has seen first hand the great demands the war on terrorism is placing on the men and women of our military, and he is proud of the tremendous job they are doing for the United States of America.
Secretary of State Colin Powell: Educated in the New York City public schools, graduating from the City College of New York (CCNY), where he earned a Bachelor's Degree in geology. He also participated in ROTC at CCNY and received a commission as an Army second lieutenant upon graduation in June 1958. His further academic achievements include a Master of Business Administration Degree from George Washington University. Secretary Powell is the recipient of numerous U.S. and foreign military awards and decorations. Secretary Powell's civilian awards include two Presidential Medals of Freedom, the President's Citizens Medal, the Congressional Gold Medal, the Secretary of State Distinguished Service Medal, and the Secretary of Energy Distinguished Service Medal. Several schools and other institutions have been named in his honor and he holds honorary degrees from universities and colleges across the country. (Note: He retired as Four Star General in the United States Army)
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld: Attended Princeton University on Scholarship (AB, 1954) and served in the U.S. Navy (1954-57) as a Naval aviator; Congressional Assistant to Rep. Robert Griffin (R-MI), 1957-9; U.S. Representative, Illinois, 1962-69; Assistant to the President,
Director of the Office of Economic Opportunity, Director of the Cost of Living Council, 1969-74; U.S. Ambassador to NATO, 1973-74; head of Presidential Transition Team, 1974; Assistant to the President, Director of White House Office of Operations, White House Chief of Staff, 1974-77; Secretary of Defense, 1975-77.
Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge: Raised in a working class family in veterans' public housing in Erie. He earned a scholarship to Harvard, graduating with honors in 1967. After his first year at The Dickinson School of Law, he was drafted into the U.S. Army, where he served as an infantry staff sergeant in Vietnam, earning the Bronze Star for Valor. After returning to Pennsylvania, he earned his Law Degree and was in private practice before becoming Assistant District Attorney in Erie County. He was elected to Congress in 1982. He was the first enlisted Vietnam combat veteran elected to the U.S. House, and was overwhelmingly re-elected six times.
National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice: Earned her Bachelor's Degree in Political Science, Cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University of Denver in 1974; her Master's from the University of Notre Dame in 1975; and her Ph.D. from the Graduate School of International Studies at the University of Denver in 1981. (Note: Rice enrolled at the University of Denver at the age of 15, graduating at 19 with a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science (Cum Laude). She earned a Master's Degree at the University of Notre Dame and a Doctorate from the University of Denver's Graduate School of International Studies. Both of her advanced degrees are also in Political Science.) She is a Fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and has been awarded Honorary Doctorates from Morehouse College in 1991, the University of Alabama in 1994, and the University of Notre Dame in 1995. At Stanford, she has been a member of the Center for International Security and Arms Control, a Senior Fellow of the Institute for International Studies, and a Fellow (by courtesy) of the Hoover Institution. Her books include Germany Unified and Europe Transformed (1995) with Philip Zelikow, The Gorbachev Era (1986) with Alexander Dallin, and Uncertain Allegiance: The Soviet Union and the Czechoslovak Army (1984). She also has written numerous articles on Soviet and East European foreign and defense policy, and has addressed audiences in settings ranging from the U.S. Ambassador's Residence in Moscow to the Commonwealth Club to the 1992 and 2000 Republican National Conventions. From 1989 through March 1991, the period of German reunification and the final days of the Soviet Union, she served in the Bush Administration as Director, and then Senior Director, of Soviet and East European Affairs in the National Security Council, and Special Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs. In 1986, while an international affairs fellow of the Council on Foreign Relations, she served as Special Assistant to the Director of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In 1997, she served on the Federal Advisory Committee on Gender -- Integrated Training in the Military. She was a member of the boards of directors for the Chevron Corporation, the Charles Schwab Corporation, the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, the University of Notre Dame, the International Advisory Council of J.P. Morgan and the San Francisco Symphony Board of Governors. She was a Founding Board member of the Center for a New Generation, an educational support fund for schools in East Palo Alto and East Menlo Park, California and was Vice President of the Boys and Girls Club of the Peninsula. In addition, her past board service has encompassed such organizations as Transamerica Corporation, Hewlett Packard, the Carnegie Corporation, Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, The Rand Corporation, the National Council for Soviet and East European Studies, the Mid-Peninsula Urban Coalition and KQED, public broadcasting for San Francisco. Born November 14, 1954 in Birmingham, Alabama, she resides in Washington, D.C.
So who are these celebrities? What is their education? What is their experience in affairs of State or in National Security? While I will
defend to the death their right to express their opinions, I think that if they are going to call into question the intelligence of our leaders, we should also have all the facts on their educations and background:
Barbra Streisand: Completed high school Career: Singing and acting
Cher: Dropped out of school in 9th grade. Career: Singing and acting
Martin Sheen: Flunked exam to enter University of Dayton. Career: Acting
Jessica Lange: Dropped out college mid-freshman year. Career: Acting
Alec Baldwin: Dropped out of George Washington U. after scandal. Career: Acting
Julia Roberts: Completed high school. Career: Acting
Sean Penn: Completed High school. Career: Acting
Susan Sarandon: Degree in Drama from Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. Career: Acting
Ed Asner: Completed High school. Career: Acting
George Clooney: Dropped out of University of Kentucky. Career: Acting
Michael Moore: Dropped out first year University of Michigan. Career: Movie Director
Sarah Jessica Parker: Completed High School. Career: Acting
Jennifer Aniston: Completed High School. Career: Acting
Mike Farrell: Completed High school. Career: Acting
Janeane Garofalo: Dropped out of College. Career: Stand up comedienne
Larry Hagman: Attended Bard College for one year. Career: Acting
While comparing the education and experience of these two groups, we should also remember that President Bush and his cabinet are briefed daily, even hourly, on the War on Terror and threats to our security. They are privy to information gathered around the world concerning the Middle East, the threats to America, the intentions of terrorists and terrorist-supporting governments. They are in constant communication with the CIA, the FBI, Interpol, NATO, The United Nations, our own military, and that of our allies around the world. We cannot simply believe that we have full knowledge of the threats because we watch CNN!! We cannot believe that we are in any way as informed as our leaders.
These celebrities have no intelligence-gathering agents, no fact-finding groups, no insight into the minds of those who would destroy our country. They only have a deep seated hatred for all things Republican. By nature, and no one knows quite why, the Hollywood elitists detest Conservative views and anything that supports or uplifts the United States of America. The silence was deafening from the Left when Bill Clinton bombed a pharmaceutical factory outside of Khartoum, or when he attacked the Bosnian Serbs in 1995 and 1999. He bombed Serbia itself to get Slobodan Milosevic out of Kosovo, and not a single peace rally was held. When our Rangers were ambushed in Somalia and 18 young American lives were lost, not a peep was heard from Hollywood. Yet now, after our nation has been attacked on its own soil, after 3,000 Americans were killed, by freedom-hating terrorists, while going about their routine lives, they want to hold rallies against the war.
Why the change? Because an honest, God-fearing Republican sits in the White House.
Another irony is that in 1987, when Ronald Reagan was in office, the Hollywood group aligned themselves with disarmament groups like SANE, FREEZE and PEACE ACTION, urging our own government to disarm and freeze the manufacturing of any further nuclear weapons, in order to promote world peace. It is curious that now, even after we have heard all the evidence that Saddam Hussein has chemical, biological and is very close to obtaining nuclear weapons, their is no cry from this group for HIM to disarm. They believe we should leave him alone in his quest for these weapons of mass destruction, even though it is certain that these deadly weapons will eventually be used against us in our own cities.
So why the hype out of Hollywood? Could these celebrities believe that since they draw such astronomical salaries, they are entitled to also determine the course of our Nation? That they can make viable decisions concerning war and peace? Did Michael Moore have the backing of the Nation when he recently thanked France, on our behalf, for being a "good enough friend to tell us we were wrong"? I know for certain he was not speaking for me. Does Sean Penn fancy himself a Diplomat, in going to Iraq when we are just weeks away from war? Does he believe that his High School Diploma gives him the knowledge (and the right) to go to a country that is controlled by a maniacal dictator, and speak on behalf of the American people? Or is it the fact that he pulls in more money per year than the average American worker will see in a lifetime? Does his bank account give him clout?
The ultimate irony is that many of these celebrities have made a shambles of their own lives, with drug abuse, alcoholism, numerous marriages and divorces, scrapes with the law, publicized temper tantrums, etc. How dare they pretend to know what is best for an entire nation! What is even more bizarre is how many people in this country will listen and accept their views, simply because they liked them in a certain movie, or have fond memories of an old television sitcom!
It is time for us, as citizens of the United States, to educate ourselves about the world around us. If future generations are going to enjoy the freedoms that our forefathers bequeathed us, if they are ever to know peace in their own country and their world, to live without fear of terrorism striking in their own cities, we must assure that this nation remains strong. We must make certain that those who would destroy us are made aware of the severe consequences that will befall them.
Yes, it is a wonderful dream to sit down with dictators and terrorists and join hands, singing Cumbaya and talking of world peace. But it is not real. We did not stop Adolf Hitler from taking over the entire continent of Europe by simply talking to him. We sent our best and brightest, with the strength and determination that this Country is known for, and defeated the Nazi regime. President John F. Kennedy did not stop the Soviet ships from unloading their nuclear missiles in Cuba in 1962 with mere words. He stopped them with action, and threat of immediate war if the ships did not turn around. We did not end the Cold War with conferences. It ended with the strong belief of President Ronald Reagan... PEACE through STRENGTH.
