Curt’s Newsletter

June 2005

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Building an ML

The dealers have been begging Mercedes to simplify ordering the way the Japanese do. With many Japanese luxury vehicles there are 3 packages, the base car, the middle car, and the maxed out version. Thus if you want a backup camera on a RX330, an absolute, utter necessity, you have to get a $4500ish package including navigation. This is cool if you want that much. But you can’t get a semi-base model with the backup camera (at least so I’m told).

With the ML, there are a myriad of options and packages. Let’s discuss them and build a ML350.

The base vehicle has cloth manual seats and no sunroof. We can’t have that. The Sunroof Package solves the latter, with power tilt/sliding tinted glass sunroof with one-touch express-open/close and memory, infrared rain sensor for intermittent windshield wipers (standard on ML500), dual two-piece sun visors.

This package is required for getting other packages.

Now, there are three packages with nicer, power seats:

Trim Package—includes Privacy Glass for rear doors, rear quarters, and tailgate, protective-coated roof rails, leather front seating inserts with MB-Tex trim and rear seat upholstery, leather trimmed steering wheel, polished Birdseye Maple (ML350, Burl Walnut standard on ML500) (Birdseye Maple is stained brown. Burl Walnut is dark brown.) The Integrated 3-button garage door control, compatible with HomeLink® and some other systems, and TeleAid system, which uses GPS satellite plus a digital cellular link to provide 24 hour live assistance for emergency aid (SOS button), information (i button), or Roadside Assistance (Wrench button) are vital parts of this package (standard on ML500).

Premium Package—This is an either/or. You can get only one of the following on one vehicle: Trim Package, Premium Package, or Appearance Package. This requires the Sunroof Package, too.

—includes Privacy Glass for rear doors, rear quarters, and tailgate, protective-coated roof rails (standard on ML500), Power Tailgate, Multicontour front seats, with pneumatically adjustable side bolsters, thigh support, and lumbar support, and leather upholstery on all seating surfaces and head restraints. Polished Burl Walnut (standard on ML500) wood trim on steering wheel, console, and doors highlights the interior.

—COMAND-DVD Navigation system

—Ambient interior lighting of door handles, front cupholders, rear footwells, front console storage compartment and cargo area. Integrated 3-button garage door control, compatible with HomeLink® and some other systems, and TeleAid system (Standard on ML500)

This seems to be MB’s only concession to the dealers’ request for a simplified options list. Yes, you have to get all of that in order to get leather upholstery on all seating surfaces. Considering the quality of the leather inserts interior, I do figure most of the people ordering this package will want a loaded ML anyway.

Now, if you haven’t been confused, there’s a third alternative, the:

Appearance Package. It, too, requires the ubiquitous Sunroof Package and isn’t available with either of the above or the Sport Package.

—It has four 19” ribbed 5-spoke alloy wheels in Silver-painted finish, (or optional chrome finish at extra cost) with 255/50-19 high performance tires.

—Silver grille with chrome ribs , chrome-trimmed door handles and body side moldings (standard on the ML500)

—Smoke-tinted tail lamp lenses

—Blue-tinted glass for windshield and front doors

—Privacy glass for rear doors, rear quarters and tailgate (standard on ML500)

—Protective-coated roof rails (standard on ML500)

—Sport instrument cluster with matte chrome bezel

—Alcantara front seat and rear seat inserts with M-B tex trim

—Aluminum interior trim. Brushed stainless-steel pedals with rubber inserts

—Ambient interior light of door handles, front cupholders, rear footwells, front console storage compartment and cargo area.

—Integrated Homelink-compatible 3-button garage door control (standard on ML500)

—TeleAid system (Standard on ML500)

Whew. Okay, you’ve picked one of the above. What’s missing now?

Well, for one thing, you still don’t have memory power seats, and the steering wheel adjusts manually.

The Comfort Package takes care of that. It includes Auto-dimming left-side and inside rearview mirrors, power fold-in feature for outside mirrors, parking-assist right-side mirror can tilt down automatically when driver shifts into Reverse. (This can be turned off for those it bugs.)

—It has the 10-way power front seats and head restraints, each with 3-position memory. Driver’s seat memory includes steering column and outside mirror position.

—4-way power steering column

—Driver-programmable easy-exit feature can move driver’s seat rearward and/or raise steering column when SmartKey is removed from ignition, and restore positions when key is reinserted.

—Cargo management system: Aluminum runners in cargo floor, four adjustable anchors, plus attachments including telescoping crossbars and retractable belt reel for helping to secure odd-shaped objects

—Retractable/removable vertical partition net and horizontal luggage cover

Yes, I do believe the Comfort Package should be integrated into the Premium Package, but it should also be available to people who want seat memories, etc. on the less-expensive Trim Package and Appearance Package seats.

Lighting Package:

If your night vision is as bad as mine, and I hope it isn’t, this is a must-have: Bi-Xenon headlamps with active curve illumination and heated headlamp washers

—Corner-illuminating front fog lamps

(My next ML might be missing some things I want, but it will have this option package.)

Entertainment Package:

—Harman/Kardon® LOGIC7® digital surround sound system

—11 speakers, including dual surround speakers, plus a subwoofer

—7.1-channel amplifier, Multichannel digital-surround-sound technology originally developed for the professional recording industry, to provide a natural and realistic sound stage for FM radio, playback of audio CDs and optional SIRIUS Satellite Radio.

—Digital Dynamic Volume Control helps to preserve sound balance under all driving conditions

—Integrated glovebox-mounted single-feed 6-disc CD changer, with MP3 capability (retracts in to space above glovebox, maximizing glovebox space).

Air Suspension Package:

—Airmatic air suspension with driver-adjustable height control and automatic 4-wheel level control

—Adaptive Damping System (ADS) with driver- selectable Auto, Comfort, and Sport Modes.

—Vehicle speed-sensitive power steering (standard on ML500)

This is a very worthwhile option. In addition to the various modes, from soft to sporty, the vehicle can be raised 3-4” to give almost 12 inches of ground clearance.

AMG Sport Package (not available with Appearance Package)

—AMG design front and rear bumpers

—four 19” AMG 5-spoke monoblock wheels with 255/50 R 19 high performance tires

—Dual square polished stainless steel exhaust tips.

Individual Options

Keyless Go vehicle entry and starting system

18” 5-twin-spoke alloy wheels and tires (Not available with Appearance Package or AMG Sport Package)

Class III Trailer hitch kit – if you may, possibly, perhaps one day tow a trailer, get this now. It cannot be added at the dealer. It must be factory installed.

Power tailgate – fully opens at the touch of a button on the driver’s door or the SmartKey, and closes via buttons on driver’s door or the underside of the open tailgate.

3-zone CFC Free automatic climate control with:

—Individual digital temperature/airflow controls for driver, front passenger and rear cabin

—Automatic control of blower speed and airflow distribution (with manual override)

—Rear-cabin operating panel with controls for temperature, blower speed and airflow direction

—Front-cabin operating panel can control rear-cabin settings

—Sun sensor

—Activated charcoal filter with smog-sensor automatic recirculation mode

—Infrared-reflecting glass for windshield and front doors helps reduce radiant heat penetration

(Good and bad: Good, back seat passengers get control of their temperature. The sun sensor aids in maintaining the set temperatures without fiddling. The Infrared-reflecting glass keeps the truck cooler, but EZ-tags have to be placed at a certain place, and so do radar detectors. Since this isn’t on the tinted rear window, a Valentine 1 Radar Detector doesn’t lose its rear detecting abilities, though, as it does in vehicles with all glass being infrared-reflecting.)

Heated Front Seats

Amazingly enough, people tell me they don’t need them in Houston, Texas. Actually they don’t need them every day in Houston, Texas. But they’re useful when the truck has been sitting out in the cold all day in February. They’re also useful when your back hurts.

SIRIUS Satellite Radio—must be factory installed. Cannot be added at dealership.

COMAND-DVD—in dash GPS navigation system with map database for the contiguous U.S., Canada, and Oahu, Hawaii, all on a single DVD. DVD-ROM drive concealed behind flip-down in-dash screen.

Dealer installed Accessory iPod® integration kit allows any Apple® iPod model with dock connector to fully integrate with audio system plus multifunction steering wheel and display. iPod docks in glovebox, and its battery is recharged while it plays.

Hands-Free Communication System with or without voice control (dealer installed)

Parktronic audiovisual parking assistance system

Seat-mounted side impact air bags for outboard rear-seat passenger—The only reason NOT to get this is if no one will ever, ever, in your wildest dreams, be sitting in the back seat.

Metallic paint.

There are enough options here to allow you to custom-build your ML, so if you’re really picky, come in and order.

ML500 vs.

Lexus GX 470

Philosophy: For the market in which the M-Class and the GX 570 compete, customers are looking for a rigid body, but not necessarily body-on-frame construction. Mercedes-Benz has designed and constructed an extremely rigid unit-body for the M-Class, transitioning from body-on-frame construction. Lexus has chosen to utilize existing Toyota models rather than invest in the development of a more contemporary vehicle structure.

Another part of the Mercedes-Benz philosophy is that it has one line from which to choose – Mercedes-Benz. It doesn’t re-badge products to form another model line.

Aerodynamics: The M-Class utilized experience and work in the wind tunnel to develop not only a contemporary-looking design, but one that is more aerodynamically efficient than that of its predecessor. While still capable, it doesn’t have the truck-like aerodynamics of the GX 470.

Preferences: Many driver preferences can be chosen in the M-Class by using the multifunction steering wheel and the MCS 2 system. Lexus is making preference selection a limited-time offer.

Handling: The ML500 has larger, more on-road performance-oriented wheels and tires (standard and optional), with wheels from 18” to 20” The GX 470 offers only 17” wheels and tires (Standard and optional).

Performance: The ML500 power train is stronger than the GX 470’s. Due in part to its larger displacement, the 5.0-liter V-8 engine in the ML500 develops greater power and torque, with peak torque available over a 2,050-rpm range. In addition, the Lexus has only five forward speeds in its transmission. The two additional speeds give the ML500 the advantage of a smoother, quieter ride.

Danger! Speed Trap

A customer of mine finally got a ticket on a demo drive. After 27 years of demo drives it was inevitable, but it was no less infuriating. It occurred down Katy Road from the store.

I know the Houston City Gumment wouldn’t allow/make the Houston Police Department operate a speed trap. No, this wasn’t a speed trap. Call it a “Revenue enhancement exercise.”

And there is no “vendetta” against Star and our customers. The fact that one officer, who spends a large amount of his time within a mile of Star, has given 4 tickets to one employee and 3 to another in 12 months just indicates they’re terrible drivers who do such things and go right on red without stopping for a full minute (as stated by the officer), or drive a red SLwithout a front license plate (which isn’t required with a dealer plate). One of my customers got a ticket for doing 40 in a 35 zone despite the fact that the speed limit on Katy Road is 40 mph.

No, it’s just that crime is so well controlled in the rest of Houston that as many as 7 cars can be placed within a mile of Star, each with its own radar or laser gun. Coming to work one day I noted that all 7 had cars stopped that they were giving tickets to or worse.

Katy Road is perfectly designed for revenue enhancement. The speed limit is 10-15 mph below the 85th percentile.

So, when you come to Star, make no right on red without a 1 minute stop (?), and observe the speed limit rigidly even though you will be passed constantly. Try not to get rear-ended.

National Motorists Association

Whenever I put in one of my traffic safety harangues I always get some argument from people who feel that police only give out tickets for better traffic safety, and the gumment isn’t after money, and there’s no corruption at Houston City Hall. Usually I am asked where I get my information (such as red light cameras cause higher accident rates than intersections with no red light cameras, yellow lights are routinely set short around red light cameras to enhance tickets, etc.) Well, I make it all up. Are you happy now? Sorry, but I DON’T make it all up. Unlike Newsweek, I don’t publish anything without getting it from a credible source. If I just wanted to make things up I’d back the city gumment.

One of my sources is the National Motorists Association. http://www.motorists.org. These are the people who defeated the national 55 mph speed limit long after it lost its reason d’etre but was still in force because it was a gumment program. Gumment programs never die. Someone has to empty a revolver loaded with silver bullets into it, stick a stake in its heart, put the body in a lead lined coffin surrounded by garlic and crosses, and bury the coffin at the bottom of the deepest trench in the ocean, or come the next full moon, it’ll return.

Don’t believe that? Next time you get on a Houston freeway, note the speed limit. Take garlic, silver bullets, and a cross. It’s b-a-a-a-c-k!

If you’re a skeptic, I recommend you join the NMA and read their monthly publication. Some parts of it are over the top. There are occasional anti-seat belt or anti-air-bag harangues, but you read the Houston Chronicle’s editorials. Read it for a year. If some of the articles don’t make your hair stand on end and your blood boil, then… you must work for the gumment.

Tire Life

It’s come to the gumment’s attention that tires become unsafe with age. (In a related press release, the gumment discovered the sun rises in the east). I’m sure some odious new regulations will come out of this. Ford is now suggesting you replace tires that are 6 years old. A woman was killed when the ten year-old spare on her Ford threw its tread and rolled the vehicle.

Some time back the German gumment took 5 year old spare tires and ran them through the TUV test cycle. Tires rated 130 mph were failing at 85 mph sustained. Since that’s the slow lane in Germany, this is important. It’s important here, too, because road temperatures exceed 140˚F in places in Texas. Suddenly 70 is equal in stress to 90 or so if you’re going by standardized test standards (done at temperatures appropriate for Germany, not West Texas).

So, some suggestions:

—If you have a “real” spare tire, when you buy new tires, put it on a road wheel. Use it or lose it. If, then, you put a worn out tire in the spare well, treat it like a temporary spare and paste a 50 mph speed limit on it. If, when you put the spare on after a flat you have a history of leaving the spare on for a long time, then buy 5 tires and rotate the spare when you rotate tires. Since few tires come with 5 identical wheels and tires, this is not usually a problem. One of the reasons to have temporary spares is to force you to get your flat tire fixed/replaced, and the spare back in the trunk.

—If you’re a low mileage driver, replace your tires every 3-4 years anyway.

—Never go down a speed rating. Your car has W rated tires, which is somewhere between a gazillion mph sustained and infinity sustained. You never go fast at all. It’s very tempting to put on H-Rated tires. They won’t handle the same, corner the same, brake the same. By the way, when you sell the car that now has underrated tires, hope you sell it to a dealer like us. We’ll deduct for the price of a new set of properly rated tires, and replace them before selling the car, but the next buyer won’t be able to sue you for an accident caused by underrated tires.

—CHECK TIRE PRESSURES OFTEN! Mercedes-Benz Operators manuals say once every 2 weeks. I’ve found once a month is sufficient–if. Tires lose, on an average, one pound a month. If you keep the tires at the “over 100 mph” pressures (SEE THE FUEL FILLER CAP FOR PRESSURES), and you’ve lost a pound, they’re still above the “Below 100 mph” pressures, so they’re not under-inflated for normal driving.

—If all 4 tires are the same, have them rotated every 5000-6500 miles. Some of our cars have “staggered” wheels and tires, meaning rear wheels and tires are wider than fronts. They can’t be rotated. I’ve found that in those cases the rears wear out at a faster rate than the fronts. If the fronts are in good, even shape, you can get away with just replacing the rears with the exact same make and model tire. Obviously, if they’re wearing funny (clown faces in the tread, dirty jokes on the edges), replace them all.

—Have a good quality 4-wheel laser alignment done when you get new tires. By the way, Mercedes-Benz warrants the alignment on new cars for 12,000 miles, not 12,100. Check your tires for weird wear (Linda Blair’s picture on the tread) BEFORE 12,000 miles. If you’ve had the tires rotated at 6500 miles (free on new Mercedes-Benz), then most likely strange wear (Michael Jackson’s picture on the tread) will be noted by the technician, and you can get the car aligned and not have to replace the tires. If you wait until the tires are worn unevenly, you’ll need new tires AND an alignment.

—MOST TIRE PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED BY UNDER-INFLATION. Virtually all tire-related complaints that come here involve under-inflation.

—Tires are the only thing between you and the road. To be specific, 4 little patches of rubber a bit bigger than your hand each are the only contact your car has with the road. If you don’t think that’s important, try driving with 3.

Miscellaneous Ravings

Miles and miles

One of the other salesmen lost a sale. When asked why he said that the customer complained the car was used. “How many miles were on it?” “22.”

Yep. We do, indeed, encounter people who consider a car with 22 miles to be used.

So let me repeat the MB mileage story. When a new MB reaches the end of the production line and the wheels have not yet touched the ground, the odometer reads 2. The vendor is required to test the speedo/odo, and this runs the odometer to 1. Then, when the dash is assembled, the entire system is tested, and now the odometer reads 2. It’s not even in the car yet.

At the end of the production line are several chassis dynamometers. The cars are put on them and run through a test series. If everything is perfect, they are driven off, prepared for shipping (plastic over horizontal surfaces, etc.), and driven to a waiting train. If anything is wrong, the car stays at the dynamometer until it is fixed or could be taken elsewhere for correction (I never saw this happen, but it’s possible.) Every X car goes to the test track for further testing, and some cars go to the hot room or cold room for verification testing.

Then, when the train reaches Bremerhaven, it’s unloaded. The cars are driven off the train and onto a roll-on, roll-off ship. There they are tied down for the voyage.

At the port they are driven off the boat and taken to the Vehicle Preparation Center (most of our cars go through Jacksonville, Fl.)

There they all go through a series of tests. They go to the “White Room,” a room with bright, white lighting, where a very experienced, very picky guy with a grease pencil goes over the car. If he finds a paint flaw, it is circled. Cars with circles go to the paint department where they might be buffed, “Finessed,” or have the panel painted in a factory paint booth. All cars go to another chassis dynamometer for a test run, and every X car gets driven around, sometimes 50-60 miles. Cars with extensive test miles on them get a sticker saying how many miles the car had when the VPC finished with them. Strangely enough, these are almost always S, SL, and CL models or AMG models.

The car is then driven onto a carrier and brought to the dealership and driven off. At the dealer the technician, as part of the Pre-Delivery Inspection, drives the car, usually 1 or 2 miles, but sometimes 5-10. Then it’s driven to makeready and to the state inspection line and the wash rack and the fuel pump and to the 3rd floor storage area and to the delivery area.

The miles you see on a new Mercedes are honest. Nothing is hidden or concealed. Everything is real.

I’ve picked up 2 cars at the European Delivery Center in Sindelfingen, and both had reasonable miles on them, in the 10 to 20 range.

Compare this with another German car company. Unless their procedures have changed, they order odometers from VDO reading 999,980. Then with all of the driving done to get the cars to the dealership, the odo should be around zero. Sometimes they arrive at the dealership with, say 999,995 on the odometer, and the PDI technician has to drive the car to zero the odometer.

Letter

Enjoyed reading your “intel find,” the letter from George found on the “sent” folder. Very good. Have long suspected a great conspiracy afoot, with our “pets” playing dumb when we’re around then joking hysterically when “the hairless two-leggers” are gone. I’ve accused our furry four-leggers of this and they simply look back, wagging their tails, shooting guilt-rays with their eyes so they’ll get fed, scratched, etc. Hope the ol’ boy is doing well and finally accepts fact that, yes, the backyard can be occasionally defiled with manure.

Bill Laurie

Gas Station Drill:

This has been in here before, but let’s go over it again.

1. When you approach the gas station, check it out. If it is crowded, what do the customers look like? If you were meeting them in a dark alley would you be afraid of them? If so, don’t go there.

(Don’t tell me you’re on fumes and have to. You’ve already screwed up then.)

2. When you pull up to the pump, look around again. What’s going on? Having no activity is as bad as having a lot of activity. I pulled up to an empty station and someone came out from behind a pump. His intentions weren’t friendly.

3. When you get out, lock the doors—now. Take only one credit card with you. Do the swipe bit and put it in your pocket. Go to the fuel filler door. Unlock the doors with the remote. Open the fuel filler door. Lock the doors with the remote.

4. Fill the tank. Get the pump started filling the tank and lock on the auto-fill. Now, walk around the car. Look around. Look at the tires. Look for uneven wear, low tires, nails sticking out. But while you’re doing this, look around. If in doubt, stop filling and leave. Forget the receipt. If you can’t leave, jump in the car and relock the door. Call for help.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean no one is out to get you.

iPod Interfacing

I’m not an iPod person. I’ve picked one up once to listen to a training MP3 on the SLK350.

But they’re taking over the world and keeping my favorite computer maker afloat. iPod integration kits are currently available for the ‘06 ML. On July 15th they will be available for the ‘05 and ‘06 CLK, the 05 and ‘06 SLK with COMAND radio only. August 1, 2005 is release date for the ‘04, ‘05, and ‘06 E-Class and ‘06 CLS. When the R-class is released, they will be available for it.

The parts kit is $299, with one to 3 hours required for installation, depending on model.

Thought for the day:

If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.

The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000. That means that you are 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation’s Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington, D.C.

Morning Disasters

I was making breakfast, and I had just put a mug of fresh coffee and a glass of orange juice on the table. I was bringing cereal (and milk for Arthur Pendragon, the cat) when I saw George S. Patton, Jr., our Miniature Pinscher Puppy was sitting in my chair and pulling the place mat off the table. The problem was the coffee was coming with it.

Before I could get there the coffee had poured on the poor puppy and into the chair. George, never stoic about pain, yelped so loud my ears rang and ran, screaming at the top of his lungs. I took chase with visions of a scalded puppy. Several things went through my head. “Can I get him to the vet?” “Can they save him?” “How will I tell the Redhead?” “Can I sue McDonalds?” My reading glasses became hors de combat on the floor. I caught George, still screaming, and put him under running cold water, which increased the screaming. Baths he does not like. Eventually I got him calmed down and began feeling and looking for damage. I imagine his skin was red under the black and red fur, but who can tell? His left aft foot was tender for a while, but he was back to normal later that morning before I had to leave for work.

Boy, did I have a mess to clean up, though.

Just another morning at Castle Rich.

If a dog was the teacher:

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout ... run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Curt Rich June 2005

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